Spitting blood I took my lovers hand
Gave her passions grand
Fed her poison to blacken a life spend
Easing the pain she had forever tended
And so there be her end
Kindness blended in with dark desires
Voiceless fires, wrapped up in wired
circles of admires, trapped in life’s
unmistakable requirements
Then the knife to end my own life
Formidable evil to worsen my own strife
Take me on a journey into nothing
but darkness
Lost in aggressive togetherness
Oh it’s hard, so hard to live
It’s so hard to live, because all I
ever do is give and give and give
To innocent child I can offer nothing
but fear
And so there my one and only child
shall die by spear
Suffer because of a life in sad arrears
Oh it’s hard, so hard to live
It’s so hard to live. The list of things
never done, and so life offers no fun
Only abject attractions to kill future
prospects, thus I carry no respect for a
life lived, just this fear beneath
A life wasted when my lovers water broke
Unable to cope I was with all the new hope
So to deaths road I took my lover and new
child before they woke, all because life
became to hard to live
Belief in myself died when I failed to
perceive the new disease
Sudden storms swept down from above
Technology I could never understand
New age in savage lands
Hostage to love, forced to wear iron gloves
In this fear I’ve lived
Mortgage rates unforgiving, death it seems
better then living
Inheritance comes a little too late
For lover and child now sit before the
pearly gates, awaiting entry into a everlasting
tranquillity, and soon death will deliver me
into this place of dire beauty
Oh it’s hard, so hard to live
It’s so hard to live, just giving and giving
to life’s bloody end
Author notes
Where there is life, there is hope. For some, life becomes hard to cope with when all seems lost, new beginnings thus might only drag them down as the cost of living goes up. But nothing is ever lost till you lose the dream, than life can become too hard to live for some.
In a list
A contest entry
- give me anything by x Bright Eyes x.
525 points, ended October 9, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everyone's a Critic by dewfall.
800 points, ended October 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts I'll much appreciate
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I actually like the second stanza best of all, and wish you could write another poem with that as a starting place. You write beautifully (except as noted by others, for a few typos, etc.) but this is a bit confusing, especially since your author's note seems to be at odds with the poem itself, which is very despairing. I do enjoy trying to understand your writing, which is colorful and complex!
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i guess dum spiro, spero just isn't evoked by this poem but i may just be obtuse...
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i love this poem although your authors comments affected me even more. the dream here tis dead ... the body goes on. good luck with the contest,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
I may be very dim today but I really don't understand what your saying. Your words seem deep but mundane at once and there are a few errors which detract from the flow. I like the verse beginning 'a life wasted when my lovers water broke' but i'm still unable to conjure your intent. Thankyou for getting the old brain cells sparking though....
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Yikes, there was so much raw emotion in this; and the bitterness in that repeated 'chorus' almost of how it's so hard to give ... this read so easily off the tongue...
Great write; and thanks for sharing it with us
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This is a very deep and sad poem. When one thinks that life is wasted on the living... that's just sad I think. You use imagery very well here. I can feel your pain and the repeated words work well here.
Also, the mention of lover and child just adds more emotion to an already very emotional poem. I loved reading this sad poem. Thanks for sharing it wit us. Great job
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Wow.....
i luv that line..'death i tseems,beter than living'...beautiful imagery...I actually imagined you crying and holding on to the'imaginary baby'
lovely write..i luved the imagery a lot...
~Hugs~
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Life is one wasted race ... Well portrayed in and excellent poem! The repetition is well positioned and the struggle is building up as the poem progresses. The second last verse is the best - giving up all hope and hope for a higher best!
Very well written!
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Profound write!
Great use of repetition - makes it sound almost like lyrics to a wonderful song.
Inheritance comes a little too late
For lover and child now sit before the
pearly gates, awaiting entry into a everlasting
tranquillity, and soon death will deliver me
into this place of dire beauty
That stanza means a lot to me. The poem was full of depth and emotion through and through. Absolutely brilliant. Good luck in the contest! -
This is so sad and true. Life has a way of kicking the teeth out of a person at times. Best thing is you can look forward to that grace period of rest like endorphins on pain. Very keen write! Peace.
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Your poem is fantastic! Such emotion as I think we have all felt at one time or another, some I could never imagain. So sad, but a part of life it is.... and so true nothing is as bad as it seems. Keep the dream and dream big!!!!!!!!
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Wow! This poem is so deep and so very powerful in its message. This kept me interested right through to the end, as it flows very well. It is true though that no matter how dark one's life seems, there truly is always, always hope somewhere. Great, dark write! I wish you all the best in the contest. Blessings, Patty
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WOW!
This is some deep thoughts you have goin on here! What a sad tale you have penned! Wild rollercoaster penning!
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER OWN WAY
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Deep, dark, and powerful!!! WOW AMAZING!!! You did a splendid job writing this and portraying the way you feel!!! I can feel the emotion behind this write!! Excellent word choice!!! You have a magnificent flow!!! You did a beautiful job with this!!! I LOVE IT!!
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