A question in his eye
as he looked away
to say goodbye
have you nothing left to live for?
no reply
no reply
A wonder in his eye
as he turned around
to say he tried
have you nothing left to live for?
no reply
no reply
have you nothing left to live for?
a reply?
a reply...
aye, but I have so much more to die for...
Author notes
you could guess... but you would be wrong...
unless you guessed what i guessed.. but then you would be crazy..
so its best you were just on your way
but then again... you could be right
jk
A contest entry
- DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN Rhyme (spiritual poem) by Pisces rainbow.
1000 points, ended October 7, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Excellent
A very fine, albeit, unusual write. You certainly express your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
A poem is born. . .ok so I have been to too many baby showers lately
I like it and I dare not interpret it for what you meant by it exactly, but at the same time I probably get some of it and for the rest I usually make up my own meanings for things I like anyway. . .like songs and poems.
I wish I could think like that! I love your depth. Honestly, this poem really tears at me somehow.
And while I admit my curiosity still wants to know your meaning and thinking process behind it all, at the same time I don't really need this to enjoy it.
It cracks me up that your author notes are half as long as the poem...
Any more coming soon?
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woooooooow. I couldn't write a comment as long as Going Nowhere, even if i tried. For this, you should be thankful.
Anyways, great poem. Do you spend more time planning your author's notes then you do with your poem????
Anyways....anyways. Great write. Its about time you posted something! And its about time you post again.
Fantabulous job!
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Your poems always have such an impact on me - You know how to say so much within so little, and it always ends leaving me thinking about it long after the fact. Excellent writing, my friend! Love the description of the reasons to live and the reasons to die...those thoughts rang true to me. You rock...but you know that.
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ya... i know... it's pathetic when the comment is like 20 times longer than the poem... i didn't even realize how bad it was... but that's what happens when a good poem is written and can say many things with not so many words. i want to write one like this.. jeesh.
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thought i’d take a guess, even if i may be wrong...
but then i thought, if i DID guess what you guessed... would it really put me in the crazy category with you, and do i deserve that? hmmm...
so, maybe i’ll just be on my way...it’d be better like that... jk
reading this through a few times, i liked the angle that the question and reply, or lack of, could have come either from him OR from where he was turning... WHICH can cause different meanings to be pulled from this, esp. taking the third person and switching to 1st person in the last line.
i decided to read it through again, but to take it into my own heart, taking on the meaning at a personal level, which will definitely make me not guess correctly, since this is a poem supposed to be about you...
and thus proving you right, and keeping me out of the crazy category. 
so, here goes... just thought, maybe this will make me crazier… hmmm.. anyway,
lately i have been reminded about carrying crosses in my life and the burden and hurt that goes along with that. not really having anyone there for me, like i hoped, to help, but go through something alone.
the ‘have you nothing left to live for’, being repeated 3 times was, to me, like the falls of Christ carrying the cross of burdens we placed on Him. He never questioned or ‘tried’... He DID!
and so, to me, it was like... as i am forced to say goodbye because of another’s decision, or to be put through the wringer because of mistakes or mishaps, and want to say that i tried... i contemplate that it isn’t like me to give up. i am strong enough to stick through and say i actually DID. (at a much weaker and smaller level, of course)
it’s like i can’t seem to hear the reply at first, but then FINALLY hear it. what i have to live for now is really for the living after i die...that my focus is on something much bigger than myself and my piddly problems that i feel overwhelm right now. after all, the life to come is the one i live for now.
that is putting a personal interpretation to it, taking these words to heart. you don’t know how this just helped me focus on what is important, and possibly refocus on not giving up with the trying, but to fall, get back up to finish, and say i DID, but attached to One that has done it first, so i can follow and have that example.
ok, ya... i tend to get long winded, esp. when i'm a little emotional.. gosh.. i need to work on that.
you really need to write more... you really do.
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THIS IS DIFFERENT
I DO LIKE DIFFERENT
WELL DONE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENTRY GOD BLESS...
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thanx so much for the comment and applause! good luck with your contest!
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