Beat me down
Break my mind and then my body
Burn my soul.
Blend me into liquid
Break me to bits
Stir my head to nothingness
and spread the ashes.
Drag me a thousand miles
naked on the rough
so that i can
be made of sturdier stuff.
Break me down and build me up
with a new design
and stronger morter.
My tired eyes grow wearier
with each passing day,
and my heart slows
as though pacing for
its last few beats,
and if this universe has any design
It shall awaken me.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmm this is nice. I'll try to leave you some constructive criticisms..
Lets see..
The imagery all the way down is very good, but seems to slightly lessen on the very last stanza. On that last stanza..if you replaced words for more in-depth type words, it would be greeeat. For example, tired is a common word, if you replaced it with a more descriptive word for tired..you get the idea
Also this isn't really a critism, but just a curiousity. I'm sort of curious about the backstory behind this write.
Well I hope I helped
Thanks for sharing this 
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nice job, i like it
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