A finger to the lips,
halting thundering horses
galloping to the soundtrack of films of the twenties.
Quiet.
The sand crusts at our knees
The cloak and dagger dunes
stutter into puppetry
as they grow like grainy coffins,
deliberating,
our creeping death as we hide.
The breeze on sedatives
laps at our throats
clamming strings with repression,
piercing the static atmosphere
as a gloved hand.
The finger to my lips takes the pill
and the Lorazepam grinds in
my swallow echoes from the edges.
Author notes
Option about silence...
interesting factoid, Lorazepam has the brand name Silence and is used to trest anxiety.
Hope this was not too awful! All my love,
moonshinesuicide
A contest entry
- snowflakes- I by bird-mad girl.
1800 points, ended November 24, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your best prewrite! Gain points. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
925 points, ended October 4, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Beautiful imagery, very expressive and deep.
Love the background. -
This is nowhere NEAR the universe of awful! How could you even think such a thing? That's just preposterous!
"galloping to the soundtrack of films of the twenties."
Beautiful. I love the 1920s and wish I lived back then with every fiber of my beginning. I was so ridiculousy excited when I read that line. It's such an ironic line because you think of booming hooves but films from the 20s were silent. I thought that was very clever.
You did an outstanding job at capturing and describing silence. It was so consuming. It made me think of back when I was a little kid and I'd play hide and seek. I'd find that perfect spot but would have to be really quiet to get away with it and in those moments where the seeker walked by and I held my breath the hush around me was so devouring.
This was dazzling and very elegant.
♥
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What a superb write, your imagery is absolutely amazing. A stunning write. Good luck in the contest. sj
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