Dreaming now,
Once again,
Of the arms that held me,
Way back when;
I loved you then,
I love you still,
And, so my heart,
It will not mend.
Sweet summer air,
We’d talk beneath stars,
You looked in my eyes,
On one special night,
Those words I will never forget,
Your voice like a record,
Each chance I rest,
The fireworks explode,
I dream of your caress.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Only a dream? A truly beautiful write of love and loss. As the reader, I really apreciate the imagery in this write,"the sweet summer air.....The fireworks explode...." beautiful!
-
I like this a lot. Really had a dreamy feel. Like the rhyme in the first stanza. Nice piece.
-
whoa i like this :] it's a really good poem -^.^- love it keep up the work
-
-
thanks!
I'm always thankful to those who comment my poems!
-
-
Dreaming
This has a great feel of dreams/memories and lost loves. Nice. I love the line "Your voice like a record," not a broken record - just a record. I love that, it is beautiful.
The last line is a good ending, but paired with the previous line, it doesn't seem to go to well. I can see what you're trying to say, but do you think they could be connected a bit more? Maybe that's just me.
I really liked this overall, though, great work. -
-
In my mind
The last two lines are connected. The night I am talking about in this poem there were literally fireworks.
I can see how they don't seem connected though. thanks for the comment.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
