Never Good Enough

Ana and Mia are screaming in my mind
Why does life have to be this un-kind
Everyday is always the same
Looking in the mirror
Wondering what it is that you see
You do not make me feel sexy
You watch them girls on the Internet
I caught you out twice before
And now you pay for it on the T.V
Whilst I am on my damn night shifts

Making love once or twice a week
I was wondering whether it was me
I need to do a day
Without wondering
Is there any more deceit
Why do you feel the need to lie
Especially to me
It seems to me, you may as well go and cheat
Paying for it on the T.V
Why not go and hire the real bloody thing

I am obviously not good enough
I don't want to be that person again
Lacking in total mistrust
For the man that I am supposed to love
You are knocking my Mental Health
That's taken this long to build back up
How do I get it through to you
That you're reasons are now not good enough
I'm running out of faith
Of the great couple that we look n

To those on the outside
How can they be so strong
Is what they think
They envy, but they have it so wrong
It hurts so much to feel I need to check up
Where is the trust now
It's faded so far like an un-wanted cloud
Every-time you build it back up
We end up back to square one
Do you understand the damage you have done

I am sat here
Wondering when the next blow will be
All your lying
It's not so easy
Everything you have done so far
Remains in my head with me
Obviously I am never going to be good enough
Do you realise
Just what you have done?
I love you sweetheart but now I feel outrun