Perhaps, the season of our intimacy
has passed
to lay aside our mourning;
yet will I love you
all the days and moments
of our lives.
For in our time
you have become
a part of me...
absorbed,
and as my blood
within me flows
you are still there
and with me goes;
such that regardless
of our path
with joy will bless
the other's laugh,
and every time our eyes do shine
throughout eternity and time,
will spark the galaxies in flight
to brighten up the darkest night
and celebrate in sweet repose
our heart affair shall never close.
Author notes
For Jim, my true heart's shadow...
Photo credit: Ouroneheart.com
A contest entry
- Shadows by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended October 12, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Sweet and beautiful as a tender kiss, lovely and eternal everlasting
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written for a very special friend...
He lost his life partner and I lost my Dad within three weeks of each other during August 2007. We spent much of the next 11 months on a strange and beautiful path that inspired much of the poetry I wrote during that time. I was totally open to whatever I felt like writing. Then, last summer, there was a shift which prompted this piece. We are still very close, I absolutely adore him and will always treasure his presence in my life. He and I ate brunch every Sunday morning until I became engaged, then married, now he and I and my husband eat brunch many Sunday mornings.
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This was beautifully written with soft sweetness of sentiments. Referring to another comment made on this poem, I feel we should take the words and emotions and let them touch our hearts, not our keyboard's search engine. I guess that love is corny or cliche' but never old for we all wish for it. I like your poem.
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What a lovely comment, sorry not to have thanked you sooner
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A very heart-felt write; casting its blanketing shadowy light - warm thoughts here that seemed to have taken flight and landed on a cyberspace landscape. Your title beckoned me here and I'm glad I listened. Very nice piece here.
AsIThink...
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Aw, this such a loving poem
written beautifully
I have to tell you I really love this one
hugs Moony
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simply beautiful Penned in such an elegant way.
Good luck!
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it is so sweet when i see people dedicate writes to others...
just lovely moments
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This is a lovely expression of your feelings for another person, and I have no doubt that it comes straight from your heart, but there is nothing here that is original.
Your last line for example, I typed it into a search engine, and there were over a thousand matches to it. There are over 460 thousand matches to "we are now one." Nearly every line you use is cliche. Clichés offer prefabricated phrasing that may be used without effort on your part. They are thus used at the expense of individuality. If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.
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Well, technically speaking I am sure you are correct...
and I will certainly consider that aspect such that I may even edit, however, it was written strictly to and for someone without your apparent expertise and his comprehension is more valuable than literary merit as another deems it. Thank you for your comments. -
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I am glad you feel that way, and I am glad my comment did not discourage you. This was written for someone special, and it is his opinion that counts.
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I knew this was for Jim as soon as I started reading. Nicely done Patsy. I've often spoke of the wonderful intermediate relations formed in life apart from the preponderance of strangers and lovers and I know the wonderful connection you had and have with Jim.
Paul
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Thanks...
*speechless when it comes to him*
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