Once there was a man of dreams and wishes
Who rode the magic carpet in his mind
To anywhere imagination wanted
And any place his heart could hope to find.
Reality was merely inconvenience
A passing thought that vanished in a haze
A thing to be dismissed as only rumor
So he could fill his lonely, lonely days.
He soared above the world as if an eagle
Through cotton clouds and rainbows shining bright
Sure that there he'd find what he was after
And he would finally sleep in peace at night.
You fool...
Peace of mind is not beyond the mountains
Nor far across the endless seas of blue
No matter how you search you will not find it
'Til you take a good hard look inside of you.
A contest entry
- Just give me your best by The Phoenix Returns.
700 points, ended March 24, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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That's a nice little message but one that has been overdone in different ways. This was a refreshing read nevertheless. The imagery could be improved manifolds. Cotton clouds was probably the best bit of visual you could offer but it was not consistent enough.
This could be a wonderful poem for children though. Not that it holds no meaning for adults but the style would definitely appeal a lot more to the younger ones.
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Good advice...
not enough personal resposibility anymore. A very good write.
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Outstanding
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Excellent, some really top-notch lines in this:
"Reality was merely inconvenience"
Is the one that sticks out most in my mind.
Good job xx
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Thank you for the read.and nicely written as well.
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this is so kewl. I remember when I was a kid thinking of magic carpets and magic ... nice thoughts. I like the way you had me going along smiling and then all of a sudden it changes to "you fool" ... I immediately went ... oh god, now what? before I read on. Definitely a poem that moves the reader. Great job!
P.S. love the background
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