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god with us

 

 

 

 

 

 

the gravity of earth's pull
kinks its weight from moon to a splotch of yellow star

 

                   feathered- light gnarled

                   through a bedroom window

and you wonder if she cried

damn skippy

she did

you would.  too

probably


                          if you were half a man
                          if you were half a man
                          if you were half a man


man-made whole in the mouth of an ocean,

a warm womb envelopes saviors and spoilers-  ascension in one hand


a war in the other
[and they shall call his name emmanuel]

and the was


which never was
still isn't
i think.  too

but can not be sure

 

once, a woman planted a tree which grew bent and jaggedy

 

on the day she left

it unearthed root
dragged worm and grub half-cross town
to replant itself outside her bedroom window

                   and at night
when she touches herself beneath downy cover

                  the tree grows harder
                  and harder still

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • silkypoet
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    on the day she left

    it unearthed root
    dragged worm and grub half-cross town
    to replant itself outside her bedroom window

    and at night
    when she touches herself beneath downy cover

    the tree grows harder
    and harder still


    Love it. Have you ever read anything by Alice Hoffman? Not a poet, but for some reason your writing style reminds me of her. Lovely, lovely, lovely.


    • Cat
      October 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      no, i haven't... what do you recommend?

      • silkypoet
        October 21, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        just about anything, I've seldom been disappointed in her. River King was my favorite, but I also loved Probable Future. For short stories I would recommend Blackbird House. She's really amazing, one of my favorites.


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you have used the theme of the contest within your imagery & parts of the story, and a real reverse twist at the end there....lol.
    I love how you have used the meaning of emmanuel's name as the title.
    I like the hands in the middle section of your poem, reminds me of a scale, I see a scale here...and in quite a few of its meanings along the way of this poem.

    I love the imagery in the beginning & the ending..especially the ending...lol..makes me think of the oldest 'trees' alive...

    every time I read this poem, I see & think something different. Maybe it's just me...lol...but this poem leaves a lot open for interpretation...

    I've read it sooo many times..it feels really personal & reads quite abstract to me…
    and is presented very well on the page...

    thanks for entering the contest


  • zochit2me gold member
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    damn I envy you...
    but in a good way of course. Your ability to pull the reader to the level you want them to be on and sink into that moment...
    Just WOW!!!

    This is absolutely stunning in all of its glory!!!



    ♥Becky♥


  • secberm
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • divebar
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • motel silver member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    just love all the different strands of images ... nature, spirituality, the sensuous. your gifted voice is able to bind all these into a flowing piece.
    I read this a few days ago and had to carry it for awhile before commenting. your work always strike me for its paradoxical nature ... subtle but brilliant at the same time.
    thanks.

  • Suzanne Dia
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy hell, mary



    it is beautiful, though

    i don't know if i aspire to be a tree or to be planted, but this makes me want one or the other in a really nice way.






  • sheltered
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Damn. I'm a little jealous...
    of your writing style as always
    but also because this would have
    been perfect for "Sex + Religion"
    Quite a grinful twist though
    I must admit.
    I never would have guessed
    where this was going?


  • Crowheart
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a childless dream
    shuttered walls and daff-
    odil pedals

    on spokeless bikes
    the bee returns with
    pollenless

    intent

    alone

    r.e.m.
    .......... begins again


    • Cat
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i just found your take on this- i like it..

  • flea25
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is cool


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love this...

    you are carving out a wonderfully pure poetic voice all your own and i think it is wonderful...

    this covers so much ground, strong poetic elements, narrative, tone, line breaks and that unique voice...

    wonderful poetry


    al


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning poetry, Mary. I too loved the subtle sensual undertones here. I've always loved natural metaphors like trees and roots, and here you have it all - and so much more.

    I wish I could leave a more in-depth comment but I'm at work and just wanted to say I loved this. Great poetry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i went for many journeys within this...
    and loved how i had to crank my head -- but gently
    along the sensual trail that led me under a familiar window


  • poetryality silver member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is an urgency to know buried within the words of these lines. To know...for sure. You have written twists and turns in short and in the long version a splendidly written concrerte poem. I love the repeated lihnes. they speak to me of our inability to be whole in so many circumstances. There is no waver here but an awesome acknowledgement. Your words are sensual yet subtle. The message is felt deep within the core of me, and the imagery is ancedotal, absolutely healing in its effects. Your title places the deity in the midst of all things.

    Beautiful!

    I wish you well in the comp. This should do exceedingly well.


    Always ♥

    Renee


  • marc creamore
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mary (love that name Mary, it's the name of my first daughter) . . . there is a sensual mystery to this piece, it speaks to me with its stunning imagery and musical flow . . . Oh, and thank you for the kind comments you made regarding the poem that Swan wrote for me, much appreciated . . .

    love,
    Marc


  • sailor ptolema
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    fabulous

    woah.

    that's all i can say.


  • The Actress
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful =)


  • Jersene gold member
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is great


  • NurseChilly gold member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ice and a slice on the twist of the vine... and damn if that eve hasn't just made the apple fall again...
    bloody good stuff this Mary Moo


  • iverbthenoun
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ... i love this...


  • Peteskid gold member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now this is one of my favorites by you, and it is on a pretty long list...PK


  • Cannonsfire
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol 'damn skippy she did' This was a kid's tv program in Australia with a kangaroo lol...you give twist a bite of lemon with it! C

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