Far beyond
deepers shade of blue
Disabling doubts
have had their fun, now-
I've lived with enough regret
I know starting again
isn't easy, but
it's necessary
even if it hurts.
I watch leaves sway quiet in
unseen breezes, I
invite peace now
to be a presence
not a barrier,
I'm no longer terrified of it,
as it should be
a time and not a hope
a reality and not a dream.
Stilled against my heart
are advocated devils
in bright, beaded costumes
waiting for a chance to
sell me one last forgiveness.
Instead I wonder
why I should
bother wasting my time
trying to make you better-
you never loved me,
not the real me,
I was decoration,
to go with your new sport coat.
You never thought it would happen,
I'd get to question
the witness-yet
she'd be a willing participant,
in uncovering lies
you told so sweetly.
When I reach the
final answer
maybe something will click then,
a sort of understanding
will brighten
my day.
When I look at you,
with your face down,
a pout in your eye,
I can't help thinking
I'd hate myself for letting you go.
Truth is, I never had you
in the first place,
you were gone
long before
we ever really tried.
Honorable mention
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