down-at-heel curtains dangle
in the wind: butterflies
sipping the dust
of old dreams
Author notes
picture inspired
In a list
A contest entry
- 13 Words Only for this Picture XII by Manda Kathryn.
300 points, ended October 3, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
-
Nicolette,
Stunning and tender.
Thank you for sharing this.
Take care
As always
Love Peace
campanaro
-
A sense of the downtrodden yet butterflies lend a sense of hope... I see the dust as pollen and therefore potential for new dreams waiting to bloom... Alot huh... for 13 words...? Very nice!!!
-
Magical beauty resinates within these beautiful words.
Wonderfully written indeed, thanks for sharing your poetic talent.
Tony
-
Beautiful..
-
A lovely faceless vignette; a daydream. Beautiful.
Paul
-
oh this is just pretty.!
helen~
-
This has the feel of haiku, and I can imagine butterflies sipping the nectar of old dreams, but not dust, for butterflies alway live for blossoms today, and old dreams live for today, too. They are just cocooned a little longer.
It's an intersting poem, now I have to explore the picture that prompted it. ~K
-
-
thank you, Karen
always great to see your lovely touch on my pages
-
-
And
I can here the song. Perhaps the year 1966. Where have all the young men gone?
-
-
yes....i can hear it too. thanks, Bob
-
-
A short yet such a wonderful poetical piece...it lifts and spins the reader away.... lovely!
-
-
thank you so much
-
-
Oooh. Stunning...
Such a quick shimmer. It's perfect. I can't stop reading it.
-
-
thanks again, anethesia
-
-
wow this is pretty
-
-
thanks dear
-
-
Your imagery is always so very stunning. There is so much to see in your words. The notion of;
"butterflies
sipping the dust
of old dreams"
makes me visualzie the prompt picture with very little effort.
BRILLIANT!
I wish you well in the Comp!
Always ♥
Renee
-
You created such a wonderful image here with curtains resembling butterflies. Simply great!
-
Old dreams... How many of them I'm waiting for to turn to dust in some way... Even though I know better, some of them are just so annoyingly alive and kicking...
I like the complexity you manage to capture within your brevity... you know... wind ; butterflies sipping ; dust ...
Never thought I'd be able to picture myself something like that - but you showed me... like you've shown me so much the last couple of years!
-
Lovely Nicolette. Not much one can say when a piece washes over you like this one does. I love your poetry. geo
-
this is a lovely, short one with a beautiful image - good job, Nic
-
You are always beautiful. Always.
-
Succinct and lovely!
-
Beautiful
I love the quiescense of the motion of the curtains and the butterflies...they create stillness of emotions...contemplative, so to speak...
-
Beautiful.
-
I love
"sipping the dust
of old dreams"
this stands alone quite beautifully, but also compliments the picture prompt amazingly. Lovely poetry, Nic
-
lovely
you know this is a kind of poetry which really surprise the readers.wonderful imagery. -
'Tis only so they can whisper new dreams into life from the dust of past glories, my Sister. Gorgeous. Best of luck, Dear Heartedness. 
Vlindertjie
-
"sipping the dust
of old dreams"
that is sooo good, that idea...and your imagery with your thought here is wonderful, this has a haiku feel, I love a haiku feel in poems..lol. I love this The title works perfectly with the poem & the dreams of the butterflies. I like it when you use interesting expressions in your poems, like 'down-at-heel' ..
-
Oh my God Nic, the butterfly image is one of the most mind startling lines of poetic perfection that I have ever read!!!!!!!!! INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!
in admiration,
Marc
-
-
i just love your comments, Marc.. thank you
-
-
Oh, it's just me being greedy, waiting for another book from your oh so moving mind and heart . . .
Marc
-
-
-
lol. i have NO idea what relevance the first part of my previous comment has in regard your poem.
chalk it up to just-woke-up hysteria, a profound need to babble, or an overactive thyroid
-
-
"where have all mom's flowers gone?"... Guy drowned them
lolol, liefie, you made me smile. as you've noticed i have a thing for flowers too...good thing you don't have to water poems...
-
-
my mom has a real flower fetish, lol.
the first time they went out of town after i moved here, she asked me to go over and water her plants every other day so they wouldn't die while they were gone.
it took me over an hour each time.
mostly, because i had been watering the plastic ones as well as the real ones.
which goes to show what an acute observer and natural-born gardener i am
i love how this piece sort of dangles there, like a snippet of conversation heard in passing.
the kind of thing one hears without realizing it, and then later, remembers and ponders its actual meaning.
and, although it is brief, one can extrapolate a whole scenario from these few words.
which i adore and envy, as you know brevity has never been my long suit. lol
no, liefie, your muse is not sleeping...it lies in the tall yellow grass like a lioness, and pounces when least expected
-
my first read i didn't understand
down-at-heel- i still don't but am willing to figure it out,
because the imagery of the second half is so wonderful that the
first half must be too..
i wonder is down-at-heel
down on your luck? ... love the curtains too..
love this piece
love, love, love the title.
m
-
-
i think "down-at-heel" is perhaps more a British expression for rundown, shabby, tattered, etc. and dictionary.com gives it as one word. thanks, mary - happy you loved this little one
-
-
A melancholy yet dreamy poem...
butterflies
sipping the dust
of old dreams
This offers me an image to ponder.
Blessings~
Az
-
-
many thanks, Az!
-
-
Effective use of language hon. Lovely. Alot of people have a thing against using gerunds here, don't they, lol? Admittedly I am guilty of it at times, if they are over-used in a piece, but I agree, sometimes they work, like here.
-
-
thanks, Kathleen...trying to kickstart my muse with little snippets
-
-
excellent flow
tight imagery and consonance
i wouldn't have even noticed the gerrund
if it hadn't been brought up
for it and the pluralization of butterflies
adds to the smoothness of this write
-
-
thank you!!
-
-
depending on the effect you want
you can use the gerund for glossy scenery
but here it goes better (at least for me)
in the wind: butterfly sipped
the dust of old
dreams
-
-
yes, i agree. i don't like using gerunds myself but sometimes one can't avoid them, lol. thanks, alex
-
-
it's not about liking gerunds
they modify the dynamic
time perception effect -
-
yebo. in this poem i wanted the "continuous" effect. but i still don't like them or rather, the abuse of gerunds
-
-
I don't like words at all
they're occlusions of sound -
-
hmmmmm don't know if i believe you, mr poet... "it's only words, and words are all i have" - according to the song, lol
-
-
to me it sounds like a complaint
a cage
-
-
also true...or masks or veils..or walls, but then, also expression of freedom..
-
-
the expression of a wish for freedom
you wouldn't write if words wouldn't be impersonal
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Very nice poem, Nicolette. Simple & beautiful imagery, as always. The last three lines are amazing.
-
-
Thank you, my friend. I wrote about a 100 versions of this little one, lol
-
-
omg say it isn't so....
you had a marymoment?
*runs and hides*
lol -
-
Lol!!! No, just a very regular nicolettemoment ...now you can run and hide hehehe!
-
-
-
-
Just about says it all C
-
-
thanks, Chez
-
-
omg... just looked at the photo now that i did my comment earlier..
lol damn nice write
-
much to adore in this!
you clever girl making down-at-heel one word....
loved it!
I will go see the photo now... but there was an underlay of bitter-sweet reminiscence (ugh its late did i spell that right?) lol
actually it reminds me of when i cleaned out my grandfathers home, after he died, of my ex husbands down in atmore alabama....
-
-
yes, there is something bitter-sweet about old houses... this is just where the picture took me. i am sipping the nectar of new dreams now. thanks, Heidi
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 61 of 61
