Lost in this small world,
Not knowing which way to turn,
Left, Up, Right, Down,
It's like I'm going in circles,
One Word.
Finding my way out,
confusing in every way,
waving my hands wildly,
trying not to hit things in the dark,
One Word.
Falling flat on my face,
being ridiculed for being different,
trying to continue on.
Weak, Powerless, Selfish.
Friends that are close to me,
Not turning back to see if I'm okay,
doing these things everyday,
those two-faced bastards.
The family I live with,
No love in the air,
Together we're nothing but a bunch of birds flying solo,
One Word.
But is it possible to turn this around?
All you need is,
One Word!
I'm feeling emotions again,
filling my heart,
with a sweet, gentle, melody,
One word.
Getting up off the ground,
Taking another step towards life,
Savoring the taste of Fresh air.
Strong, Will-Powered, Unselfish.
I've lived my life a lie,
I thought there was no way out.
Now I see things differently,
looking at life in a different view point.
I know the secret to life,
a secret I'm willing to share.
It's complicated but simple.
Just a little word.
One Word.
Love....
A contest entry
- round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There's a First for Everything... by Lamia.
800 points, ended April 13, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites! by movedon.
1750 points, ended May 8, 363 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Outstanding!!!!!
Josh, this spoke to me in many ways- on multiple levels. Absolutely wonderful write!!!!
"Getting up off the ground,
Taking another step towards life,"
I love that part! And these words ring so true...
"It's complicated but simple.
Just a little word."
Yes!
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I enjoyed this -
Could really feel the beat, which I think for a Slam poem is the most important aspect!
Also then the way of writing, I enjoyed reading - inthe context, none of it felt forced which was great.
thanks for entering. -
I like how the two halves of the poem reflect each other in a mirror image sort of way. That made the poem not only comprehensible, but deeply enjoyable as well. I also liked how it went from an angry poem written by someone who had been deeply hurt to a poem written by someone who was beginning to love again. Gives hope for everyone I think. Good luck in the contest and thank you for entering
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Like your going in circles like on a merry-go-round.
you have to fall on your face in order to get up and start all over again.
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Upon reading this, I thought it tasted familiar. I scrolled down to find that I'd already scribbled my thoughts upon the wall. BUT - I must say there was a marked difference this time. I wonder if you did some revisions since the last time I read this? In any case, I read it aloud, the way Slam Poetry should be and it has a definite beat. Powerful, positive, strong.
Nice.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest!
- Beán Sidħe -
You summed it all up in just one word "LOVE"
A fine job a well written piece Good luck in the contest -
*awwwww*
This is really touching. The first half reminds me of a poem that I wrote.. (its called instability if you want to read it.... I THINK I already posted it.....)
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Excellent
What a terrific write. So very creative. Thank you for sharing.
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Wonderful. You have a talent. Reminds me of two poems I wrote mixed into one.
<3Nate
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no.
I agree with Tegan in all of what she said, and I'd also like to add that we asked for left-align.
thanks for entering. -
no
I think this is a piece far more effective heard rather than read. Like most other slam poetry. However, I feel like this could have more metaphor in it, show us, don't tell us.
Please wait for the other judge to comment.
♣ Tegan -
this is awesome!! i love it.. i actaully thought the one word might be "peace" but love is waayyy stronger great poem, i don't normally read slam poetry but this i like a lot
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Wow! I really liked this. It was extremely moving and easy for me to relate to. I love the last stanza and the last couple lines
Amazing work here!!!
Ronin
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you got it!
you see, there are lots of people that word applies to, and one of them being me. you see, once that little feeling hits, it can change the entire course of your life. you can be down in the deepest of holes, and just feel like hell rained upon you in fireballs fucking you up, and then the next thing you know, you feel a slight bit of goodness. that's all it takes to change everything. and that's all i can say.
you fan,
Tyler Goins -
very nicely done. you are full of anger at the fact you are denyed what you want most. it is sad and understandable. good work.
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Awww! I loves it! It made me happy, and sad LoL...I forget that to people who don't feel it every day Love is the most powerful emotion alive..It makes me miss Blakey!!!
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wow. I love how this poem builds up intensity through repetition of the phrase "One word" and then all the intensity releases when you say love. It's like an orgasm!
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Bleep-Bloop!
I loved... this one word... *cough* Poem.
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Brilliant.
I love happy endings :]
I've never really read slam poetry before! So this is very interesting.
This line :
Together we're nothing but a bunch of birds flying solo,
So So So beautiful.
I love it so much! I keep reading it over and over.
Thank you, I truly enjoyed reading this.
ElectricBloom -
wow. this poem is...amazing. you have such passion, such deep powerful words. its funny how some typed letters can move you to the point of thinking about every moment in your life and how you could have made it better, how you could have infused it with the secret to life...okay secretS to live...love..AND BUTTER!
xD
but not to steal away from your poem,
it was amazing. i envy your skills -
This is a very nice write. I love the word usage you have going here. The imagery is good and the flow is smooth. Good write here. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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I really enjoyed your word choices and how you strung them together. This was a very satisfying piece & left me feeling very hopeful by the last word.
Best of luck in the contests you have entered this into... -
I like the way it approaches the "one word", twists and turns.
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love love love love love
I feel as if these should be lyrics to a song,
so beautifully phrased, and all you need is one word.
"It's complicated but simple." I loved this line
Love.
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you had the reader travel from confusion and doubt into hope, really good concept, left me feeling reassured
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Amazing conceptual poetic journey, this is almostt prohpetic at the point where the poem changes context, as though it is an archetype for all occasionings taht cause such revelation. Need I say, loved it
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Ah..what a poetic journey you have travelled here bringing the message unto the forefront..an effective way to depict poetry..
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Lovely
You're talented. I had a sneaking suspicion your word would be love. Love is, after all, the only true force in this world. I'm happy I met you tonight, Josh. I hope your experience with AP is even more fun than mine.
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I love it!
I absolutely love this! Please don't change it. There are no ups and downs..this is an amazing write! Keep up the good work.
~Kayla
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