When love is not enough, although we try
attempt full white sails in this windless night
ships of skies not meant for this sad goodbye
in weary words, and sight by empty eyes
as dreams in sleep ‘til sun in rise to sight
When love is not enough, although we try
weigh the fates while good and evil vie
contest beneath beauty of gleam borne bright
ships of skies not meant for this sad goodbye
farewell in quiet and a night bird cries
sad call of questions, sworn words by first light
When love is not enough, although we try
search within faith and lifted spirits reply
answers of life, blind past hides future sight
ships of skies not meant for this sad goodbye
dear wishes float like clouds in moonlit skies
in infinite arc found courage leaps to flight
When love is not enough, although we try
ships of skies not meant for this sad goodbye.
In a list
A contest entry
- Tangible Rhythms by Harrisham Minhas.
700 points, ended October 15, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a gorgeous write.
I have written in Villanelle form and I know its challenging.
You have done a good job with expressing your emotions of sadness.
I like the hopeful ending.
Thanks for your entry.
Harrisham Minhas
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Thank you so much for your kind words and the honor of the silver award, this is a new form for me, so nice to see others can appreciate the possibilities too...Thanks for all...PK...
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This has a beauty all it's own, an excellent villanelle, the repetition enhancing the sadness and softness of the poem. I have read this a few times now and gained more from it on each read.
All the best to you in the contest.
Sue
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Ah, another one and done so well. Skies/infinite arc, I like that definition.
How soft it reads when reading it out loud.
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I do not think
I have the experience to assess this poem, neither do I have a name for its format, but I did notice the recurring line, the build up to the final stanza, as well as the fact that each of the three lines of each stanza linked stanza by stanza as the poem unfolded - this besides the rhyme and syllable count. The title chosen 'not enough ... ' is reflected throughout the poem, as is the gist of the poem summurised in the title. You have some lines that I personally can associate with, while others are bring to this poem its unique character. The tone [stemming from the title] is subtly conveyed in in each stanza, culminating in the final stanza. This poem is a read and re-read poem, and when reaching the end, there is the lingering that it's 'not enough' urging another read to satisfy the reader towards another read. Best in the contest for you. Frans
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Thank you Frans-
for reading and your wonderful comments...so much appreciated. The form is villanelle and the type is definition poetry, each line defines the preceding end word. Thank you for noticing the difference...Again thank you for your most helpful remarks...PK
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