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So Fast

One moment and time did not exist.
One second -so fast-
and the world dropped in space.
Eyes so wide that tears
poured out from every side.
Breath caught on the edge
of every sentence. Choking,
sobbing- silence lurking in the shadows.
Her life fell down so fast.
And nobody knew it.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • LostInAdulthood
    November 29, 2008

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    Wow. This was a beautiful yet short poem. It has unimagineable depth for something so...haunting. I had vivid images fly through my mind. I like that way you wrote this, the words all worked well together...it was an amazing piece...amazing.


  • Map Of Stars gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    Wow, for being a shorter poem, this is very deep - I can definately sense the feeling of failure, and death within. I think you could add a few descripitive words here and there (throughout) Just to bring it more to life, more vivid. That is just my opininon tho

    "One second -so fast-
    and the world dropped in space.
    Eyes so wide that tears
    poured out from every side.
    Breath caught on the edge
    of every sentence. Choking,"

    Nice work

    ~AmBeR~