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Premium Confessions to a Deviant Lady

Confession:
when I look into your eyes
my heart sings gentle lullabies,
and all aches seem able to wait
until my gaze must step aside.

Confession:
your voice is silky soft,
even through pillow-striking laughs—
if ever at me you scream
I will let the siren last.

And you’re a playful Darling,
with consonance in your chords,
but seem to believe that you—
like the dead—
can’t roar from flittering fingers.
I swear this isn’t true.
I will locate and excavate
your ticklish spots
until your tummy guffaws away.

Confession:
when we angle our chins upward,
considering those cumulus heavens,
I see several could-be shapes—
but you?  A single outline?
If so, I don’t mind.
These heartbeats pound to protect
your vision’s version of swirling empirical tides—
that feral wind restricted to your eyes—
and not thump, thump your breathing pattern to mine.

Confession:
love thrives—
in and outside of everything,
eternally now, forever alive—
for nothing thought can ever die.
So, I thought: maybe we could try
tuning to that finest frequency,
rub elbows with each other
while rubbing shoulders with the tides.

If not, I don’t mind.

Even if we never get off the ship,
it’s good to see a soil this rich,
and to know that these shores can exist—
perhaps on some other horizon.

But, I thought maybe—just maybe—
we could try.

Author notes

magicpie325

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • They Say Shannon
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you started this.
    I really like the repetition of "confession" too.

    I think that it's awkward with some of this kind of rhyming and some of it not rhyming.

    "your ticklish spots
    until your tummy guffaws away."
    Guffaws is really weird.

    "These heartbeats pound to protect
    your vision’s version of swirling empirical tides—
    that feral wind restricted to your eyes—
    and not thump, thump your breathing pattern to mine."

    I like that. (:

    "for nothing thought can ever die"
    That sentance is awkward too.



    Awe, the ending is cute. (:
    Overall I liked it. There were a few parts that seemed a bit forced. I think you could do more with this maybe if it was more free verse, but overall it was nice
    Thanks so much for entering, and good luck. <3