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my wound is deeper than yours

wounds

 

Keep your claim to surface level pressure

while I grip tight to sickness at my core.

It's not about understanding,

but about knowing what's in store.

 

Memory always keeps reminding me

why I am its whore.


Captured, and I can't let go

See, you think it's so easy

But I'm not the one who is white as snow

[not with my innocence so tainted]

 

He claimed to capture my heart

when all he did was rob my joy.

Preying on happiness that was mine

to lend him.

[and he didn't even ask]

 

Bound to his eyes and

raspy voice,

you'll never be [know]

what I felt

 

When I have a wound the size

of a clenched fist

and all I can do is

write about this

 

Don't try and tell me

you understand.

When you can't sleep at night

because you start having flashbacks

of a man on top of you and you're screaming,

"Stop! Stop!"

 

then, maybe then, you'll understand

 

Author notes

Prompt- My Wound Is Deeper Than Yours

Pic Credit: http://mrscoxandfamily.deviantart.com/art/time-heals-all-wounds-52019866

Prompt - [x] Rape & molestation.
AP Name: lowercase prelude

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 49 of 49

  • ladybug.
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was so different than anything I've ever read of yours. The first and last stanzas were the most powerful, I believe. There's so much raw pain that you channelled through into it, it's hard to believe it's not truly your experience. This is truly stunning.


  • Lauren Noir
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good, I've read a lot of abuse themed poems and this is a better one, as in it seems very serious and there is no "You're being a teen girl" so I believed it. There was a slight lack of imagary, but as a raw and powerful poem it was flawless.
    Thank you very much for entering.


  • CaliOkie silver member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved gold on this one. An excellent write with a show of emotion perfectly balanced. Well done.

    Garrison

  • GreenDragon
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutly loved this poem. I love the picture, and the poem is just full of emotions! You are an exeptional poet!
    Green Dragon


  • Captain Amber SL
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully tragic poem. It shows sadness and pain, but not in a way where you can dismiss the poem as too "emo". This mixes the beauty of poetry with the beauty of sadness to create an amazing write.

    I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^

    Aeris Silverlight


  • Ami
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is sad
    my favorite lines were
    "Don't try and tell me
    you understand.
    When you can't sleep at night
    because you start having flashbacks
    of a man on top of you and you're screaming,
    "Stop! Stop!" "
    And i can honestly say i do understand unfortunately:/
    but anyway
    Great write and
    Thank you for entering
    Good Luck


  • SarahEatsAirplane
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow. this is heartbreaking to read. the way you wrote this was perfect. the graceful feeling it had, even though it's a very upsetting topic, was wonderful.

    great job.
    good luck.


  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your have such a beautiful way with words that takes the reader on a journey into your mind so effortlessly. Is always a joy to read your poetry. Good luck in the contest and congratulations on your previous trophy.


  • Kathraina silver member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great job! My favorite line is "He claimed to capture my heart when all he did was rob my joy." That is so true, and made me realize a few things. Bravo!

  • piccola silver member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering. I enjoy good rhyme and this is great.


  • bby J
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    memory keeps reminding me why i am its whore.
    that line was amazing.
    the whole poem is amazing.
    and i understand, trust me i've been there. and your poem just captures so much of the emotion that goes along with this sort of thing.
    great job!


  • toomysterious
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well I must agree with the judge this is excellent, deep with feeling and emotion and well deserving of the gold.


  • mcrfan322
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great poem.... i really liked it... its just the type of poem i was looking for in this contest.... thanks for entering... i cant wait to read more of yours and keep up the great work... good luck and hope you win


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting take. I didn't expect this concept but it's good. I don't really enjoy reading about this matter but the poem was still good. Thank you for entering and good luck =D


  • DolceVito gold member
    October 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    Good write with some freaky revelations.


  • movedon
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy freaky friday! this is.........wow. you've got me tantalized once again!

    love
    mylee


  • righteousme
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    im her sister ... WOW! i feel every last letter in that piece ...
    Memory always keeps reminding me
    why I am it's whore....
    i could not have said it better ... keep strong and writing...


  • stylization
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I like this a lot. There's tons of emotion here; it's raw and powerful. One little thing- it should be "I am its whore," not "I am it's whore." But other than that I love it. Great write!


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is stunning, absolutely in your face and raw! In fact I will forward this link to my sister 'cuz I think it's something that will resonate with her. Thank you so much.


  • songstress80
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    speechless

    such powerful emotion! i don't know exactly where to start or how to express my feelings about this wonderful work of art that you have express with so much passion! no one can feel exactly how you feel about what happens in your life... they might have an idea and it might have happened to them too but eveyone is different and feels differently...i hope you are proud of this work because i commend you! beautifully written! i hope that my words have pleased you because this poem was a wonderful read! keep writting, poet!!!


  • XxemohatexX
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg that was so vivid i almost knew how she felt i cound not get the pic to show but your poetry is great without a reason its jsut great adn i love all ur work never ever stop wrighting or i might jsut have to hunt you down and beat the shit ouit of you with a stick


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely... In that screwed-up way, of course, but a great write nonetheless.

    You've made great use of your prompt. My favourite part was:

    "When I have a wound the size
    of a clenched fist,
    and all I can do is
    write about this."

    That part just screamed for attention. I don't think that could have been worded any better!

    Well done, and good luck in the contest!

    Laura, aka Immortal



  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bandit Appreciation

    Thank you for this wonderful entry to the reading list your participation is appreciated!

    The Poetic Bandits


  • Polaja Greeters member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a powerful poem - the ending was very raw and I enjoyed the formatting (of brackets and italics) - I wish you the best of luck in both of the contests

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Simply Simple
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy crow! In anyone else's hands this would've become an "emo whine". However, give to you, it was amazing. You used your title in such a way that said, "Can you really say something is bad has happened to you?" Not in a way that said, "Oh listen to me whine." Excellent job my friend.


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write with an emotional punch. Your words are raw and edgy, appropiate tone for a piece on this subject matter. I am touched by the pain expressed here, very thoughtful and sensitive write. Well Done!

    Dennis


  • ZachP gold member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wowza. I think "hits close to home" is an understatement. I feel this deep in the chords of my heart.

    I agree. This poem needs a gold trophy and then some attached to it.

    My heart hurts for all the pain in this world... if only we could trade it for closure and peace.

    ~Z


  • Soft-Rain
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's sad my heart cries out for anyone subject to rape.
    I was a rape survivor. I try not to say victim anymore.
    This poem deserves Gold for bringing awareness.
    The thought were very much thruth.

    hugs
    ~Lisa~


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem hits close to home for me.. I know these feeling all to well. You did a wonderful job with this delicate subject matter and you did it so profoundly.
    your words are deep and thought provoking. you've expressed them perfectly.

    this is worth gold and much more in my eyes

    good luck

    kat


  • tortured-heart
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you're trying to make me cry aren't you?
    peace, love, & cheese


  • trekkergirl
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is definitely a deep poem. Loved the picture. Great job


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep and beautifully written!
    This is such a great thought for this
    prompt that you were given. I love the
    way that you expressed yourself in this
    one. Well done and keep up the wonderful
    work here my friend! Thanks a lot for
    sending this one my way!




    Jeremy0826


  • TacoSexyFail
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    [Shudders]
    This is so awesome. The ending is just perfect. And the way it is all set up and everything its just perfect. The structure, you used perfect wording for everything. It's just amazing. I loved it.


  • Lady Australis silver member
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is very intesting
    well done in writung it


  • penman gold member
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a powerful and well expressed poem. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Lil-Bit Crazy
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is deep and wonderful and so true.... love it..... hugs my dear and thank you for sharing it with me good luck in the contest..... hugs times a million cause i share that same pain with you....!


  • Re-invention silver member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is extremely well penned for it has many meanings but only one final veredict.. I loved this... rape..a severe problem these days and a traumatizing one... wonderful take here friend!
    thanks for sharing and good luck!


  • Abby Apathy. silver member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great work here. the title inspires something like arrogance to me, you know; 'i hurt but your pain is nothing compared to mine whaaa.'

    but you brought out sincerity and truth from it. i came across this contest a bit ago and saw this title, and i am glad it fell into capable hands.

    best of luck

    Abby ♥

  • Brudegal
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem. Wow, it is so deep. good job.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my darling this is deep.
    Great work!

    Strong imagery to keep a reader fixed to this piece. Thanks so much for sharing this with me. This is worh gold and then some.

    Love
    tory


  • luna-midnight gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is very emotional and a terirfic write, good luckin the contest and keep it up
    take care, Stephanie ♥

1 - 49 of 49