. Was perhaps on Mu?
Steady erosion, large to small When
actions of an indifferent universe Natural disasters
make way for the young. Step aside, Cousin fire eats
the old to feed the new, Evapo-ra
'Washington cow poo
"Stick that in yo -
- ur honey sprea -
d", was what t -
- he pointed hats
said. My small -
toad stool tea -
chers [Guess
pants, Told m -
- e the story of
the beginning
And why so -
me body's bi
- rth Is some -
one else's worth--less--ness. Softball lover. No more
wedding day wishes when families are structures Hol -
ding up nothing but carictures. Mickey mouse is God...
Walt butt-fucked - L . Ron in a Pasadena bright-white -
head {Walk toward the Light, enjoy your scenic view.
{You'll feel safer}
{Now kneel}
{Lover}
+++
-A-
cross the
vast stre-
-tch of la-
nd A tide
-doth lap
cleansing
Gentle rhythms, time will call, it's recycling.
It's... So much more more than love and...
so much more than one could imagine. A...
Oh sweet Jesus, show me to my bunny ears.
Mushro-
-om mix
a nibble
upon the
soul of a
lovely J-
ew a waf
er thin pi
ece of the
sweet bab
y Jesus...
Then fronti
er land for
sure this time...
Author notes
Written January 23rd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Nouning by MoonFruitPie.
300 points, ended October 7, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This was really odd, but I liked it. So this is concrete poetry? I'll have to check out more of that type of poetry, it's interesting. Why did you decide to make it look like a mushroom and a cross? I thought it should look like the statue of liberty and mickey mouse's head. That would be fun. I thought that the poem had a good message to it. Thank you for entering.
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somebody's birth is someone else's worthlessness...loved that.
walt butt fucked L.Ron in pasadena?well,now that is priceless! hahaha.so where does this fit in,if it didn't fit any of theirs? -
yet still another random comment to give you points
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This was an interesting concrete poem. It didn't really fit into my contest, I don't think. I appreciate you entering my contest. Cheryl
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The only thing I ask is that you read my poem called Amusement Parks and comment on it. I like comments that can improve my writing too. Please try to read your fellow poets writings and comment on them. I always look for that.
Cheryl -
Well this was an interesting thing to read. Thank you for taking the time to submit it.
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Sorry...you didn't stay on tpoic or follow the rules...I will have to disqualify this and I am sorry because it is a really interesting poem, nice work! At least some people have respect (excluding yourself)
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No wonder that's your favorite part -- it's the most cryptic damn thing I've read in ages. I ran it through a few numerological programs and Caesar Box Code desconstruction, but havn't found anything suspicious, so I'm pretty sure it's encoded ...just like when you play one of your songs backwards (Growl) and I swear I heard Julie Andrews telling me to do shocking things ...
Sometimes life is just odd. -
My favourite part is where I say "for sure" like, for sure.
-
Yah, okay. But that's not fair. Anyone can rant, rave and ramble. Just rewire your brain into your fingers and let go of the censors hammering at your words. Fear not. Salvation lies not in fear but in the doing.
Weenies. -
Because, you write them.
-
>>>> No, it's just a mushroom above a cross. Period.
I don't see the period.
But perhaps that's just in the interpretation. We're not all as spleenerific as you. Some of us have no imaginations and we live on ramen noodles 24/7. Why do you get ALL the good comments? -
No, it's just a mushroom above a cross. Period.
-
oh a penis
-
the bottom looks like a key
-
you get bored easyily ey, i can tell that does look like mickey mouse maybe a snake, did u take that inkblot test yet,
-
if you unfocus your eyes, you can see the mushroom quite clearly and the cross as well.
i like this, you go from eratic to "formal" language and then back to eratic.
*claps*
Nyx... -
Justa
Oh no Horus8, this is not JUST a mushroom and a cross - it is far greater than the sum of the two and the combining of the Gnosis with the pagan church of the Shroom (yah, it existed - but let's not go there yet - there's a little place in Burbank I wanna check first and it's been 20 years since I was there so it probably isn't anymore)....where was I? I'll just wander around a bit and I'm sure to cross my old trail....
I'm not sure Walt did any such thing to L. Ron (a fine, fine, fine writer - was it really his fault all those idiots took his joke seriously? I think it was Heinlein that he bet he could start his own religion...wonder if Heinlein ever paid off?).
Lotsa thoughts in this plastic construction and some of 'em are pithy (kind of like the mushroom stem). Frankly I don't know why you wanna draw pictures with words, but go for it. Smear it all over your conciousness and walk up and down Sunset with a bear (betcha nobody notices) - just try to be normal at home.
That's all I got. Just a mushroom and a cross. -
It's just a mushroom and a cross.
-
Perhaps I'll arrange my letters into the shape of your mother's penis and then you can shove that in your crack pipe and smoke it while you rearend your homies, my main chiz? How would that be?
-
Like your bong, or your face Dick head?
-
nope
this
isnt
fresh
I give
you an
A for
effort
it probably took you a long time
to form all your words into neato shapes
and stuff but that dont make you cool fool
oh man just trying to read it give me a damn
headache this is terrible man you should try
a little harder next time maybe arange
your letters into the shape of a
middle finger or something -
I think I see this picture .. a penis peeing on a cross? (I suppose it could be a hammer about to smash a cross?)
I really like this poem .. cynical .. beautifully cynical.
Some really great observations, "somebody's birth is someone else's worthlessness" and "families are structures Holding up nothing but carictures" ..
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