Round orange pumpkin,
With a candle shining like gold.
Carved features on its face
Scaring others with eyes of cold.
A hideous frown, a smile upside-down
A spooky light cast in its eyes.
Its ghoulish laugh breaks the silence
Giving a nasty surprise.
It scare the cat that sits next door,
It spooks the spooky ghost inside
And it vanishes into the night
While the Jack O'Laturn smiles outside.
If you ever carve a pumpkin,
Give it a nice big smile.
Now your pumpkin won't be liable to
Scare others for a long, long while.
Author notes
Boo!
A contest entry
- 2008 Allpoetry Halloween Bash by Little Eagle.
12350 points, ended November 21, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think. What needs revision?
Comments
-
Thank you for your entry
Well written. A good job on the rhyme and flow. Jack O'Lanturns are supposed to be scary lol. That is half the fun of Halloween. A couple of things you might want to work on. scare in your third stanza should be in the past tense. Also you use 'it' a lot in your third stanza. I would suggest only using it once at the beginning of the stanza and that would make it flow a lot better. Otherwise I liked this spooky Halloween tale. *hug*
Thank you for entering. Good luck in the contest and thank you for following the rules.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment
Happy Halloween and God Bless
Tammy -
Ha! This is really awesome! 'Tis the season for ghoulish frights, so why not cheer up the dark with a pumpkin smiling brightly?! You did a wonderful, wonderful job. I adore the last stanza! Other than correcting a few simple spelling errors, I believe this is spectacular.
The corrections are as follows: jack o'lantern, ghoulish (instead of "goulsome"), scares (instead of "scare" in the third stanza).
Frightened,
Brit
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