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Addiction

Just another hit
another kiss
to keep me in this permenant bliss
tatteo your hand across my leg
give me your love, I beg.
  Your like a drug
  I never have enough.

::::Sell Myself::::
  to buy you more
::::Break myself::::
  To be your whore.

----Try to stop----

.need.want.have.lose.
.can't.take.going.insane.

I say your name: XXX
...it helps the pain...

    Shoot you up
Straight into my heart
this is an addiction
from which I cannot part

  Overdose on your name
  die with your blood
running through my veins

Author notes

Contest The Best of AP

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Ginger Woods
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "sell myself to buy you more, break myself to be your whore" i loved this line as well as "overdose on your name, die with your blood, running through my veins" You have a definet talent, I really enjoyed reading this work of art, thank you for your entry and good luck


  • Aesthete
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sell Myself::::
    to buy you more

    need.want.have.lose.
    .can't.take.going.insane

    my favorite lines.

    this was really sad and painful and lovely.

    but i would recommend familiarizing yourself with meter if you wish to rhyme better. it's not necessary but i think you could definitely improve your writing by studying meter. there's some classes here.

    i think you have the poetry and the passion, just need a little guidance, love.

    :] keep writing!


  • Dreaming-demon
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent Poem...very dark and well written....I like it alot.


  • TheRemnant
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your skill is clearly evident. This is an extremely good piece, very dark.


  • afullmetalwar
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    interesting.poem
    interesting.colors
    i.like.it


  • The Black Iris
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Intense. This is so intense and fast paced and full of images. I think my favourite part of the piece has to be the form and the use of punctuation - I thought that was really effective. Oh and the way you switched between really short sentences and long ones that just ran into each other. Wonderful

  • VampyrMagick
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AWESUM ....3 words.....I loves it!


  • Paranoid Ecstasy
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, it was amazing.
    Emotion flowed from it.


  • Hopeless Romantic09
    September 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    He's The Addiction

    This is a great poem I quite enjoyed, Full of thought it seems was put into this. Now didn't I tell you I was going to read it? =]I love the images that flow with the poem and I like that it is based around love being the addiction. or so I think. ^_^ Great jobe, ttyl.


  • i lostmymind
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is really (really!) good. awesome piece your a good writer, I really like the second part the best. nice write xx.


  • St. Poet
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Awsome

    This is a good poem, you have great talent with making the flow move along at a very smooth pace, almost like it could be a song. I believe you can add on more to this pice, Its a wonderfull wright though.

  • sweetdreamsforyou
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    damn

    amzing write. the imagery is surreal. i love the 2nd and 4th stanzas. i love the way theyr written. thats how the human mind works. it thinks in single words. u really brought that out. great write.


  • Reckless.Emotions
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. Full of emotions, and imagery. Keep it up.


  • XxHardCORE-TrashxX
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    woo hoo

    great poem i loved it :]

    Just another hit
    another kiss
    to keep me in this permenant bliss
    tatteo your hand across my leg
    give me your love, I beg.
    Your like a drug
    I never have enough.

    lovedd this partt

    -Aimee


  • HopelessPoet1087
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Impressive... This is a very powerful poem. Full of deep seeded emotion.... The main idea behind an addiction is that you feel you can't live without something, although the more realistic definition is that you don't want to live with something else.

    What most people can't seem to want to realize, which you have hit like a nail with a hammer, is that love is the most addictive drug out in the world. Safety doesn't matter, reality doesn't matter. All that matters is that your heart receives what it feels it needs.


  • Vampirette1901
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I LOVE IT

    its great... keep it up.. :[ vampire love!


  • ultimate beluga
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    whoah maddi. cool cool cool!
    this is excellent dirty pretty, and takes the whole cliche thing of a love addiciton and breathes new life into, making it sound far more realistic than most. i especially loved:

    ::::Sell Myself::::
    to buy you more

    cause its so true but i havent heard it put that way!
    thems all fightin words and i really think youve dine a great job. you sound so angry and torn up and even though i want you happy, it makes for great poetry
    xx


  • NyteShade
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I Love the darkness of this piece, it flows very nicely together with your choice of words. Well done

1 - 18 of 18