Shining through the darkness
Red candles alight
Drunk trees in a storm, dancing
With the mistress of the night
Moonlight dressed like a fairy
Naked feet surrounded with chains
Dancing next to her shadow
She was swaying in the rain
Blood stained hands held up
Hands tied to the sky
Till light of day will wake up
She will dance through the night
Let the wind come to her
Let it carry away her tears
Bring the light to the world
Let it end the night she fears
The night was scary, cold, and long
A long night that lasts for years
One thousand nights and a night passed
Then her chained hands were free
Her pretty eyes no longer blind
Cause light has come, and she can see
She can dance, she can sing
Again, she's alive and she can breathe
She can taste the freedom
Oh, God. It tastes so sweet
But wait! She's still not free!
The light is still dark
Wait! I'm still not free!
Isn't this supposed to be freedom
So why's my shadow chasing me!?
Author notes
You can escape love-chains but never a memory-shadow..
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Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow this is powerful and so intense it holds u in you grip
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Thanks Allen, glad you like it
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Poet
And in the shadows there lurks demons. More terrible the Satan himself. Release those chains & join Crackerbos Palace. smiles here.
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This is a great piece, you captured your emotions well here, just one suggestions, maybe breaking the poem into smaller pieces instead of one long train of thought. Well done
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Thank you for this comment, glad you liked the poem.
About breaking the poem into smaller pieces, I wish I could do it but the poem is about one thought and every line is related to the one before it.
Thank you anyway.
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Awesome
I loved this poem! And I wanted to thank you for the kind words on my poem This LOve Lost.
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This was a terrific poem, but I think it would look a lot better and be easier to read if you broke it up instead of having it as one long poem.
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Very good write here
Yes the shadows in our minds so often waltz in when you are idol times where you are empty of other thoughts thus the shadows return . Good muse here
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WOW! and WOW! again
I LOVE IT SOOOOOO MUCH!!! it was very touching and emotional I love these kind of poems
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Your correct in the message of your poem, that a shadow always lurks. Just to let you know, the flow was amazing. It felt refreshing to read this poem, have not come across one like this in a while. Good job, keep it up.
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very...visual
i very much liked the line, "hands tied to the sky." your use of vocabulry was good, and i liked how you placed things. it made me feel worried, i dont knwo why. bravo. -
Amazing.
Hello Anan...why my shadow is chasing me ?...Your poem is very much alive..really enjoyed.
Rahbar.
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I liked this and the rythme was smooth and flowed so well. Nice use of imaginary, also I liked that she had a false hope of her freedome and then she suddenly realized that it was not a true one. It gives a feeling like whatever we do and however we try to forget the past will keep chasing us on and on.
Very nice write, I enjoyed it very much.
~Noor
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Very interesting piece
Thanks for sharing with the group
This was a good poem
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I am sorry, but this rhyme is what I consider pedestrian. You started out pretty good, with a fairly regular meter and rhyme, but in the second half you lost both your meter and your rhyme.
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fantastic poem i think i felt what you were trying to say, and i really love the wording.
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WOW! Interesting!
Good memories!Good work -- good luck in the contest!
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yep
this touches the reader with a feather duster of truth..
i agree... infact ... lt me try to put into words my thought here...
if lets say i see a beautiful woman and it is love at first sight... she's standing on a hill, her silky white dress sillouetting her perfect curves and her long hair blowing in the wind.. instantaniously i love her... now i could persue this further and perhaps even have a life time of joy with her... but ....
to do this would be degrading to love because quite simply in this moment the first sight and realization of love... this right here is as good as it will ever get.. it's the strongest love i could ever feel or know .... it could not possibly get any stronger than at that moment... the memory will remain purest by leaving it at that... if this makes any sense..
anyway great write you have here ~teddybare~
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