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Flat World

Barriers broken
walls turned short,
Globe transformed into tiny village. 

 

Far profounder than this,
chip united world
with geography intact,
Though oceans separate land
net crosses them any time.

People across Atlantic
live like neighbors,
Distance is myth with Net,
They can share the feeling
instant from their hearts.

Poetry is not within bound books
but opens out to be read,
With click of a button
feelings flow in digits
to other side of globe,
Bring messages of critics back.

Net is now biggest library
instantly serving information needs,
A home to take shelter,
live with friend’s unseen
share our idiosyncrasies,
Inhibitions taking back seat.


Without this marvelous tool
next door neighbor is too far,
National boundaries segregate world
people live in cocoons,

All that is history
Thanks to advent of Net.

Author notes

*POM CONTEST*
In the space of mere twenty years, 'Net' has dramatically shrunk the world

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the HM!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 4, 2008

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    Great title! I have seen this theme a few times now but I think you've done more than enough to grab it and make it yours. I like how in one sense we have expanded, beyond our wildest dream yet in another we have shrunk. Show and tell balence is off some, a lot of telling me but not much showing me, making imagery quite thin. But in saying that, this has other quailities that to me make up for it somewhat. I did get me thinking about how much it is used and relied upon these days. One of those, what did we do without it, items..lol. Over all this write did pull me in and keep me glued throughout. You have been very creative in portraying the theme, and I much enjoyed reading.
    Scores will be sent to your host at end of judging.
    Good luck

  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like your take on this theme. I notice some punctuation problems , such as the next word after a comma is capitalized as thought it begins a new sentence. Once this contest is over, I suggest you go over your punctuation on this piece.

    My favorite stanza:
    "Poetry is not within bound books
    but opens out to be read,
    With click of a button
    feelings flow in digits
    to other side of globe,
    Bring messages of critics back."

    ("digits" has a double meaning here, fingers typing as well as code. Very good! "through digits"
    may work better than "in digits")

    This poem tells rather than shows. There is little imagery, yet it is well focused and the theme is clear.
    I love the title!

    I have a couple of suggestions for your second stanza.
    The second line is awkward, which makes me think that English is not your first language or only language. (If that is true congratulations for writing poetry in a second language! I couldn't do it.)

    original
    "Barriers broken
    walls turned short,
    Globe transformed into tiny village."

    suggested revision
    "Shattered barriers,
    crumbled walls,
    globe transformed into tiny village."

    this reads a bit awkwardly also:
    "They can share the feeling
    instant from their hearts."

    "They can share feelings
    instantly from their hearts."

    My scores will follow at the end of the contest.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi and welcome to the POM I have seen this written about so it is not that uncommon to me but non the less I think that you did a nice job with it I love the second stanza and the last.My scores will appear at the close of the contest be well