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Butterflies

A passion for romance,
a heart full of gold,
you never cease to amaze me,
how much of my love you hold.

It's quite different to see,
when the world looks so bright,
your face is everywhere,
like a cheery shining light.

I can't help to think,
that everything reminds me of you,
I'm always wandering the world smiling,
because your love feels so true.

You're the warmth of my day,
the light of my night,
I can't help but feel butterflies
when I think about you and write..

Author notes

By trancez :]

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • Virgoan
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme scheme is just enough and how you you delivered it into a soft yet mesmerizing way makes the readers fall into a pit of butterflies.

    Hope to read more from you kabayan. I will be back soon.

    Welcome to AP and tatak Pinoy.


    HENSLEY


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmm It's nice to read that these butterflied are the happy kind, the ones you don't mind having...

    we all experienced these kind of butterflies.

    I love your emotions here, it is something cannot be censored.


  • Samantha Marie
    October 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awh this one is very sweet
    i dig it
    thanks for entering
    good luck~!


  • aanika
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's quite different to see,
    when the world looks so bright,
    your face is everywhere,
    like a shining bright light.

    I'd advise not using the word "bright" twice in one stanza

    other than that, this was SO CUTE.
    I really loved it.


    • trancez
      September 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I fixed it, shrug. yeah I agree though.


  • zykatari
    September 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazing i love it absolutely beautomous!


  • petalblue2
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A light, whimsical read! I really enjoyed this write!


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way the poem seems to go round,
    so you can read to the end,
    but then start again at the beginning and it still makes sense.

    It's cool!


  • Alek
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely.

    A nice, cute read. =)

    One thing that bothers me is the capitalization. The first time I read it it really threw me off when you didn't capitalize the beginnings of your first two stanzas, but used proper punctuation. The two should (but only in my opinion, please don't be offended) go hand in hand, not one or the other.

    Still, I can feel the newness and the happiness of that first spark, and it makes me smile. Thanks for the smile.

  • cindy4
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good write. Good rhyming.


  • Yheezy
    September 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Agreed with Patty (: Emotion is definitely overflowing!


  • Nicada silver member
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh those thrilling feelings that come along with brand new love! This poem speaks of the newness and excitement of falling in love. I wish this feeling lasted forever, but it does tend to change over time. I can feel the emotion oozing from this poem. Great job! Blessings, Patty

1 - 12 of 12