When I first saw you,
time felt very slow,
like nothing else mattered,
like an opening act of a broadway show.
It starred your eyes,
olive, round and fair,
accented by your smile,
so gorgeous I can't compare.
You make a portrait of beauty,
a canvas so stunning,
I can't help but wonder,
what makes you so cunning.
You've subdued me at first sight,
I can't help but fight,
these feelings of passion & warmth,
with wonder & delight..
I don't even know your name,
we won't even meet tonight,
but I can tell you now,
I'm in love at first sight.
Author notes
By Trancez :]
A contest entry
- & this is love? by Kiss the girl--x.
525 points, ended October 19, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Love by Samantha Marie.
450 points, ended October 5, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love is the only thing that keeps me alive. by nuttynettles.
825 points, ended October 7, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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'It starred your eyes,
olive, round and fair,'
I loved how that led on from the broadway show part in the first stanza, and then...
'I don't even know your name,
we won't even meet tonight,
but I can tell you now,
I'm in love at first sight.'
that ending is so lovely, and just packed of optimism
thanks for entering
♥
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mmmm makes wonder that it's quite possible...well she must be pretty, you were smitten.
amazing choice of words, very descriptive of the very effect she has caused you...
When I first saw you,
time felt very slow,
like nothing else mattered,
like an opening act of a broadway show.
I like that part
on line 21, do you mean, we won't even meet tonight?
maybe just a li'l typo
all in all this is beautiful
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thank you .. I think we won't even meet tonight does sound better, I haven't really revised this poem besides a few punctuation errors from when I first wrote it.. literally of a picture.
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awwh i totally believe in loce at first sight, this is a lovely write
thanks for entering
good luck -
You make a portrait of beauty,
A canvas so stunning,
I can't help but wonder,
what makes you so cunning.
I LOVE the rhyme here.
it isn't forced and it flows so well.
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This is wonderful, I really enjoyed the imagery. My favorite lines were "It starred your eyes,
olive, round and fair," Lovely, genuine write!
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love the hope and happiness of this piece! love at first sight should make you feel like this, full of light and smiles. good luck, peace
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thank you. honestly it was truly love at first sight when I was inspired to write this.
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Lovely ! I enjoyed the last stanza.Great rhyming ,emotional and full of feelings.Keep it up !
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kool write..
you must have great feeling for this someone to write this way...
keep on keeping on!!
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The first stanza is a bomb i love it..
When I first saw you,
time felt very slow,
like nothing else mattered,
Like an opening act of a broadway show.
its great the whole piece is great.. thanks a lot for sharing
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thanks .. I was trying to figure out if I should theme the open around that stanza, but the flow didnt feel right at the time.
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touching
this screams hopless romantic.. great little write i am sure whom ever this was writen for loved the crap out of it
good flow also for the most part
~teddybare~
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interesting picture
personally i don't believe love at first sight, but you made it intriguing, and almost connected me, but great write..
comment mine my poems if you will thanks!!! -
Sweet
Beautiful poem (: Puts me in a really happy and lovey mood.
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