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Me

Sister
My Friend
A Other Half
The Second Heart Beat
Messy Hair and Horrid Accents
Lies, Loves, Laughs, Lives, and Louses

Hero
My Confidant
A Second Part
The Third Loving Desire
Hidden Lives and Lost Ambitions
Talent, Trust, Tender, Theft, and Trivial

Lover
My Beloved
A Dark Whole
The First Shameful Lust
Hot Kisses and Lustful Beauty
Cling, Capture, Celestial, Charm, and Chaos

Family
My Life
A wonderful Percent
The Forth Kindred Spirit
Fierce Fights and Painful Memories
ANger, Accept, Ador, Adopt, and Alone.

Author notes

I did this one night after my family had a wonderfully huge fight...it mademe wonder what I am made up of. As I started writing the original title had been 'thoughts'... but now I know that this poem...is me.

An opinion would be nice

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • She Hides Her Pain silver member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Loved I

    I know how that feels. I feel the same way. I hate that feeling. I know where you are coming from


    • Luna-
      March 28
      Edit | Reply
      I hate that feeling as well, but it is a common feeling. I am glad you liked the poem.


  • ckwriter69
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice write luna, I like the repeating and the shape each stanza takes. Were you counting sylables for each line? Keeping each line the same in sylables counts for each stanza will add to the poems flow. I hate family fights they are so demeaning and seldom fix anything. Keep your head up and keep writing.

    • Luna-
      October 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I was mainly working on the shape and how many words....each one has the exact same amount of words. And each line (per section) has the same 'subject'....but mainly I was just having fun. xD I hate them as well, you are very right about them. Thank you!


  • StarEyes
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful and powerful read this is! I like the way you have this laid out! It looks great! Great job on this one! Made me stop and think for a minute. Sounds like this could be a great idea for a challenge.


    • Luna-
      October 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      A challenge? Hmmm, or a contest. I might consider doing one. ^-^


  • Lionsloves Lair
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for posting this in the lair. 3claps=9points.



    What a read you have here! A lot said in this one! I wonder if all of stopped and thought about it, what we say about ourselves? Makes one stop and think. Great job on this one!

1 - 7 of 7