.
A
single
area coated
slowly over with
a warm orange
peel cure grows
sick smelling hair
The man stares on through his curved lenses
God works on his tan
While sipping
margaritas
In a tourist
controlled
resort
town
Somewhere deep in Mexico
The bacteria culture grows eyes rapidly
As if potato farmers. The tree spirits giggle
And hand me a fig I have paint on my face
As my brush rests idle, I can't seem to cap-
-ture the wind against that twig no leaves
waiver, no winter this year. The sky be
blue, be blue the sky. Never again be
a cloud cry you no more, be wind &
sigh for these lies...Tomorrow bec -
- omes covered. When last night
turned into future's...weave off.
Adam has a pet snake. Eve
grows
fruit trees Lovers form one.
One heart cleaved... fabrics
been dyed now on my loom
I silently weave, my
sleeve to my sweat
soaked and soiled
pillowcase, picture
the [There] Secret
naked ferocious fire angel is.
Think embrace, no, Why ask in
liquid belly magic?
[Heaven, change
self desire
[Fool, Explore
the ghost dazzle
[of your sister
night. The...
Perhaps from
eternity
silence
Question
two, of.
Wear this
long vast
hand picked
lie, matterless]
stiff lust, space]
Have free caramel and]
After wild perfumings ]
your soft star lip blush, lacquer]
Yesterdays of Dancing home awareness]
let us drink life in an old coffee cup and ]
sacrifice the green velvet books of poetry spoken ]
For the fever deep throb of blind decay, dreamers]
I no longer pray
What's the point?
No one would
hear these
words but
me anyhow
You see
only what
they
let
you
+.+.+
Author notes
Written January 23rd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Inventive poetry by borut16.
300 points, ended April 27, 2005, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I won't ask about the length of his "in". This is a great post for this contest, and the poem is masterfully done. Balance, phrasing, tentative assertions, assertive tensions. This poem rocks and rolls. Great.
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Slightly distracted by the half mongrel poking out but not so distracted as to not know wonderful writing when I am reading it.
david -
Strong and greatly visual poem you got there! I enjoyed reading it, it was just a little bit too long in my opinion.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
I didn't read the poem, I only looked at the picture. How did you do that? Wow.
-
he is talented.... bastard..
wow... this was absolutely brilliant (but I'm sure you already knew that before finishing it)... That's a wild brain you have.. A lot of effort put into this... A LOT... not just by the form, but the context of it as well.. well done *nod*
and to think.. i was in a bad mood and thought I could come to you for miserablness..
got this instead, very nice.
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this poem is wonderfully odd. I LOVED the part about god working on his tan and sipping margaritas in a tourist controlled resort town. That was brilliant, and would also explain a few things. I also loved the end about I no longer pray, whats the point and that no one hears the words but you. I often feel that way, that perhaps my prayers go no further than the ceiling. Ive never heard the term concrete poem before. Do you sing the very hard rock style music like Korn and Icp? I just wondered cos my son is in a band that plays that kinda music and these poems would do well in that style music I think. Anyway good writing, Mary
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Extremely creative! I loved the form and the disjointed feel. The ending is to me, very sad, but I applaud the way you have expressed it! Good luck in the contest.
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Yes, and his pumpy chest, and that blue blood pinky.
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holy crap. i hear your voice - you've given up on the crap and hit the road - you've escaped to Mexico - to paint among the rest of the saved souls - in a town called Hell. god i love this and want to go there for a while or maybe i already am. i love this even if i am all off base.
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it could be a figure and the 'I'is his little pinky finger sticking out. its a beautiful shape. I enjoyed this its great. The disjointed bits seem as though they are taken out of some sentences as though there are bits missing and i liked that idea.i alway like the little images and ideas you create with each line. very interesting its always different visiting your place you have such a vivid turn of phrase and are so creative...
Edited on Jan 23, 3:47 p.m. because 'scpelling'. -
I think I see the matador .. but vaguely. I thought it was a nice abstract image. I liked the way it started .. interesting set up. It got too choppy to follow later (could merely be a result of a poor attention span?).
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A mattadore on a statue base, a statue himself.
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this poem is the bomb from vietinam, i agree with that last sentence, and is there suppose to be some image you are trying to make with your words cuz i can't make it out
naughty
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