Falter

I falter from time to time.
I choose to doubt my ability in progressing.
Instead I resort back to my comfort zone,
The unsuccessful action of stressing.
Somehow I need to resolve this feeling of anxiety and despair
Maybe get a grip and confront my fears, if only I dare
To see exactly what it is that has pushed me back to not knowing
Where to turn, my steady flow?
I miss my home, my family and friends that for so many years are all I’ve known
I cannot allow myself to forget just how much in this last year I have truly grown.
If nothing else I need to try to remember my strengths and forget my weaknesses
As my stomach twists in knots that I have no idea how to untie
And I choke back the tears and fight the urge to scream out and break down and cry
This is not the way I want to feel
This is not forever but for now I have to discover how with this gut wrenching feeling I can deal
I have decided that this stress this train wreck of a individual I can feel myself  becoming is no longer an option.
I have too much to accomplish to be doubting myself, there is no room for doubt in my life anymore.
So that door I will be slamming shut, hey there’s something I know for sure.
Things are getting more certain already! 