Listen while you read
http://independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=68151
In the city, cold and shitty, grey, no aptitude
All I want is to nod off with you
They say it's rather pretty, yes, pretty hard to prove
Why or how these people still move
Underground a heartbeat breaking, bread, before the train
Please no more neon drugs or migraines
Over crossing wires, near, the airport in a haze
Monkeys migrate towards the profane
There's a river black snake twisting
through the concrete and its sleeves
If I had somewhere else, then I'd leave
Holes into the sun, and moon, the stars are in the bars
customizing plates, for their cars
Oh, say what you want to say
It all, will probably be okay
And so, maybe I won't go
Fast, if you want to take things slow
They don't mind the robot lines
I hear your entourage is doing fine
So... what's with your new stage name?
You were always better at those kiss ass games
In the city, cold and shitty, grey, no aptitude
All I want is to nod off on you
http://independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=68151
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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vegas
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Detroit, actually. Vegas is for the desperate and the superstitious, and I am neither.
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hmm.
it's not the horus that i remember, not as gritty, abrasive....or hard... but still somehow, uniquely you.
N... -
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The song, or my penis?
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Both if you want
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Either is the boy I have a picture of smiling with tonka toys in 79 too. I'm all yours, and the universes I 'spose
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well aren't i just too lucky then.
i miss tonka trucks.
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Good job.
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Didn't listen to the track, but I definitely liked what I read. Your choice of wording is unique, and the poem/song has a real interesting, different rhythm to it that I really like. The internal rhyme in the first (chorus) line was something that I liked particularly. Nice write.
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This is very interesting you did a perfect job!!! I love the way that you wrote this you did a wonderful job expressing your feelings ane emotion!!!
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Very good. You have perfect imagery for the seamier side of city life and stardom. The rhyme and flow are perfect.
Great job.
Mike
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This has an interesting rhythm to it... interesting images, too. I think.
But I like this, quite a bit. Very well written.
Thank you for featuring
Best wishes, Zach -
Excellent. As pania said there is a unique sound to this. The word choices are hard-assed and street-wise and the mood of the poem is as gritty as the shitty city. BRAVO!
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
Personally I like the words better than the music... each to their own on that score, I suppose. I played SongID=68150 and SongID=68152 while I was there just to get some flavor for the site. Both songs sounded a little more inspired musically. I mean, the Werewolves are hardly "howling"... it's a very lethargic tune.
The lyrics and the sampled sounds are definitely the highlight of the piece.
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I fired all the werewolves... You know what they say, never fuck your secretary and expect anything to ever get typed without a moan and whine ever again.
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Very nice stuff! Very much my taste in music too.
"They don't mind the robot lines
I hear your entourage is doing fine
So... what's with your new stage name?
You were always better at those kiss ass games"
So many bands are like that nowadays. Someone needs to point it out to them. Brava! -
Amazing song, great sound. Love your voice, reminders of Lou Reed and Velvet Underground and some Tom Waitts, words with some of the strength and anger of Burroughs or Bukowski but this isn't helping, to throw comparisons when I feel your poem/song here is unique.
Great work. Some really interesting sounds in the track, like a urinal flushing? or was it just storm water? would like to hear more of them.
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Underground a heartbeat breaking, bread, before the train
Please no more neon drugs or migraines
Over crossing wires, near, the airport in a haze
Monkeys migrate towards the profane
Reminds me of Hermosa Beach California.
Oh, say what you want to say
It all, will probably be okay
And so, maybe I won't go
Fast, if you want to take things slow
hmm...too many things come to mind to focus on one.
Outstanding write, rave on,
Much love,
jin
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i really like this. i live in a little farm town so i'm always blown away by new york. metropolises built on filth and crime. to me, their worlds within worlds.
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Some of this would obviously sound better as a song than a poem but then there are lines like this
They don't mind the robot lines
I hear your entourage is doing fine
So... what's with your new stage name?
You were always better at those kiss ass games
which sound great as anything
and that
There's a river black snake twisting
through the concrete and its sleeves
If I had somewhere else, then I'd leave
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just do it
nod off on whoever it is! reminded me of cirlce jerks, century city for some reason! -
yeah, city scapes where posuers rate...this write reminds me of a Devo line "beautiful mutants, I can hear them all screaming, I think their calling my name..."
However my friend life's more about whats inside than the hurried surroundings that chaffe our skins. Y'know...look up at the birds fluttering about in the distant sky, maybe some bactine on the chaffe, some ice and some rye~
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Back with a comment in a bit... gotta run
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