I loll beyond the breaking point,
trying to synchronize the frequency of my breathing
with the slow seven-count of each incoming set,
but failing to keep time with the rhythmic period
separating each leisurely swell
from its equally unhurried brother.
On tiptoes now, I bounce at the feet of these water-hills,
am lifted as if weightless to their summits,
and deposited gently again by receding wake,
a final fleeting embrace before each outgrows its depth,
tumbles over itself in frothy gasps,
and bathes the shore in the lifeblood of the sea.
A contest entry
- beyond a wave by Melissa Gayle.
2000 points, ended September 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive critique always welcome
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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awesome.
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Yes, I can see where this is definitely beyong a wave...something that is felt and washed over the flesh...I am surprised that THIS write didn't win gold. It's wrothy of it, and very beautifully written!
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There is a light bounce to this, at least to me.
I am so glad to read something from you again, it is wonderfully done. -
.
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Beautiful, detailed and fresh ...
phrasings, much like the waves washing over the sand, each time the same, but anew.
Myra
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. You, as usual, have expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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