Sprouting from a fruitless soil
Moistened by the bitter tears
Of time, of hate, of pain, of toil
Of need, of want, of hurt, of fears
Grows a plant so poisonous
The weeds dare not close in
Nectar toxic, bitter weeping
Barely held by a stem so thin
This is what I have become
I know not when the Pain will cease
Bitterness, hatred, and pure grief
I embrace them all in one piece
I encompass every feeling
Every choking pain of these
Long ago, my emotions were struck
And now my heart is in permafreeze
I am.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2138759
A contest entry
- Re-write Your First by Puking Faerie Dust.
800 points, ended November 3, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Ha ha
Comments
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This was soooooo much better.
The descriptions are twenty times more vivid, and you elaborated as to why you were these things more. There were a couple things that could have made it a bit better, like the parts you listed off things. Instead of just listing them off, explain why or how, not just simply put it. And you repeat bitter and pain twice each. Other than my nit-picking, this was really great and I liked it a lot. Thanks for entering 
Jeanette*~ -
Don't quite remember the original but this one kicks it!!The usage of words is nothing short of brilliant.PEN ON GIRLIE!!!!!
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you may want to read the original, its so dumb
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