I spoke your name
into a bottle of pills
and coated your absence with liquor
alone with your empty pillow
on the cavern-
your side of the bed
that sunk deeper
every day.
I let my grief swallow me
My house is a prison
every wall bare
sagging
A contest entry
- Missing Me, Missing You by ms-cuddles.
900 points, ended October 21, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make it hurt... by Ifyoulovemekillme.
438 points, ended January 14, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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oh, very nice. it's dark, and obviously sad, but it doesn't give a reason. was it a death? drugs? divorce? i like how its more open, but still focuses on the grief itself, and not the matters around it.
that makes the emotions so much more intense, since you don't have to deal with all the baggage around it
awesome!
thanks for entering! -
that is wonderful,
& very appropriate
for the 'dark' contest.
you captured a dark,
greiving feeling in
this, indeed.
i love it.
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Great piece .Really sad .I liked the way you've described your feelings in it .
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The first two lines are stunning. Only those that have truly felt this way can understand how easy it is to bury loneliness in this manner. I've been there & spent the first half of 2008 is a drug and drink haze. Lovely job & here's to getting thru it to the other side...
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This is terribly sad... I felt like this when my husband was gone for 7 months. It was horrible. this is a wonderful write, deep and expressive.
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Nice play on words. It sets the tone of despair and anger. I'm a big fan of no punctuation, but only when the poem calls for it. And I think you wrote for it perfectly.
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I understand this poem but why choose the cheery background then? Lol, good write. Thank you for reading my work.
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Move over, I'm climbing in with you. Very well written and well said. Thanks for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles
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Your words are so well chosen. stunning piece.
I can relate to this one.
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I felt a bit like this the past few days
But the poem alone is very expressive too. Love how you show the feeling, it's very poignant.
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