I stumbled on a fallen star
She asked of me my name
She looked as though she’d traveled far
And silently, she bore a scar
From whoever she held blame
I told her that by which I’m known
And watched her stag’ring breath
Time’s winds came swiftly and had blown
Until the light that she had shone
Had but a twinkle left
She smiled at me soft and sweet
Beneath her tattered gown
Be it by chance that I should meet
These burden-bound and calloused feet
And eyes: eternal brown?
Author notes
Just a poem... Nothing special.
A contest entry
- Options, PW, Quickie... you pick the winner... what more could you want? by The cliche typo.
650 points, ended June 28, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be as vicious as you like with it.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Beautiful! Simply beautiful. I adore the rhyme and the tone of the poem. Definiately not what I expected from this picture, but I really love it. Thank you for entering and I wish you the best of luck.
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Nothing special?
Don't be so silly. I loved your opening. Stumbling upon a star is something of innocence and children.
Thank you for entering.
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I enjoyed this, it is beautifully written. Makes me think of the movie Stardust.
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I really think this is just beautiful... i really enjoyed reading it. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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I love this! Such a great personification for the star; great imagery, & gorgeous rhyming! Thanks so much for sharing.
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"She smiled at me soft and sweet
Beneath her tattered gown
Be it by chance that I should meet
These burden-bound and calloused feet
And eyes: eternal brown?"
This is wonderful. A stunning ending to an amazing piece. This very last line is brillant.
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Option please.
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I was working on it... Sorry...
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I liked this. I like the idea of the shooting star being a person. Thank you for sharing your poem.
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wow... i really like it... i cant wait till you finish it! its gunna be completely amazing (even more so that it already is!)
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