Dream me only
under eucalyptus trees
in cool peppered air
washing over you
like sunshine,
the breeze a liquid
hiss in silver leaves.
Dream me there
when I am not,
my hand in yours my
lips lighting weightless
on your brow.
Dream me the grass
catching your tears,
the stars mirroring
your eyes,
and the wind
lifting your sobs
to heaven like prayers.
A contest entry
- PIF Contest/Word Prompt by Allyce May.
800 points, ended October 22, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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LOL, sorry. Back again. My dream poem
Thanks Garrison
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P.S. LOVE LIQUID HISS!!!!
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FINALLY, I comment! Though I am lost for words. Special. Period. Thank you for filling me with so much hope through your words and your thought and honesty and passion. Amazing
This poem is a winner, which is why I awarded it gold and I would a thousand times over
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Congratulations on the gold, Garrison. This is such a beautiful, gentle poem!! A well-deserved win, my friend!
~ Nicolette
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Hey, you comment my stuff all the time, so I decided to return the favor! =)
Even though I don't read freeverse all that much, I really like the imagery you put into this. The repetition of the words "dream me" is really powerful and mesmorizing! It kind of draws you into the poem as you are reading it! Good job, and thanks a ton for commenting my poems!
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i wish my guy was here to lift my sobs
loved that line
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poetry!
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Ah ...
We are ALL mesmerized by your words!
I am glad you wrote nothing new, yet, for now I've read this again ... and yes: I simply LOVED how you rhymed peppered air with there and with prayer! And how grass, stars and wind became alive and comforters of love ...
I can go on forever about this stunning poem!
Bravo, Poet.
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The third time I've read this. Comforting, tender words though so heavily sad. The eternal kind of write, you merge your own soul with nature, respond to universal human emotions, longings... these words never will be exhausted though must always be taken with all the reluctance of loss. You touch right where it hurts the most and have a knack for making me cry- and quite indefinitely ...
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Oh my goodness, this is....
my favorite ever! No words to describe how this touched my soul! Amazing! Absolutely amazing!!
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"the breeze a liquid
hiss"
I love how the title totally works with the poem, it creates wonderful metaphors...
this is gorgeous..
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Oh my
I haven't been reading your stuff for a while, and I know you've improved a whole lot since last time I stumbled across your work. I love the imagery here, the loving but non-soppy atmosphere, the intensity... makes me sigh, especially these days. Thanks for sharing, wonderful work.
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It's beautiful and very very sweet, elegant and poetic.
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Your words simply took away my breath!
Ah. So tactile, so special, so tender. Sentiments turned to eternal sensations. In another dimension we are never separated from our loved ones. Precious ...
Thank you, Garrison, for such heartfelt words.
Myra
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This almost reads like a prayer. Beautiful, soft-spoken poetry, Garrison with a lovely serene and comforting quality about it. Lovely imagery too.
~ Nicolette
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