Stop pretending,
Stop acting like you're happy,
With the way this is,
I see the pain in your eyes,
There is no love in them,
I know you want to end it,
So why don't you?
Just say those words,
That'll break my heart,
You've done it before,
I'm sure you can do it again,
But don't you dare walk away,
Without telling me the truth,
Turn around and look at me,
Just say those words,
Don't keep hiding,
Come on,
Just break me...
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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speechless *wow* <<<<<33333
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This write actually means a lot to me. So much of me got put into this and I am so glad that you liked it. Thank you
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wow this is deep and somthing i can relate to in my past
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solid write
the flow of this piece seems like a rolling dialouge i can almost envision two forlorn lovers quareling. nice write!
peace n love,
ps
you may be missing a word in the 7th line, "So you don't you?" doesn't seem complete to me.
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Damn. I have never seen that before
Thanks for pointing that out!
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Oh wow! The emotion in your words is very powerful; you really know how to reach out to your reader though your words. You get your point across well; I actually could not look away while I was reading this . Very well penned, I love how you have written this out; it's short and attractive looking. Well done, you have an excellent talent for writing. I can't point out any awkward places at all sorry; you have kept your lines short and used the least amount of words to explain yourself it's a beautiful piece, especially that last line. Excellent
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very nice write my friend, you tell a great story with your words and let the reader see this.
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Thanks for reading and commenting...
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im vaery sorry for your sorrow hear if it helps any ive been there to your writeing if felled with talent and i see into peoples eyes to your writeing is well done like blood writeing on the wall great work -bows-
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Thanks... Happily the cause of that sorrow is now out of my life...
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whoa. the angst here is awesome! love the raw emotions that was expressed in this poem. your words were pure and this whole piece sounded pretty demanding. lol, keep penning, i loved it!
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Thanks for the comment ^^
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great work !!! i loved the feeling of raw emotion !!! thanks so much for creating someting beautiful wich i could read!!!!
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Yikes- I love it! It's perfect! Well, you mispelled like two words- but it's perfect!
I love the emotion: the anger, and the hurt- it just stabs at you! Great job!
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beautiful.
Emotional, powerful, lovely
Line 2: 'your' >> 'you're'
Line 3: 'they' >> 'the' ?
(perfectionist to the rescue! LOL)
Loved it, thanks
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omg thanks! my grammmer sucks so bad
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