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Pious Pills Don't Correct My Physiological Defect

If one thing stops
Start the next
If pills I pop
Don't correct

Think I should-
Take the time to quit
Think I could-
Write a rhyme to fit

My heart so slow
Blood is stuck
Just won't flow
Past fields of buttercuts

And flowers never were my thing.

I'll drop you if you buy a ring.

If one thing starts
Stop the last
Got broken hearts?
Dead to rest

When you've everything
Don't get lost
Over little things
Temper will cost

See these eyes
Don't see you
They're in the rise
Acedia shortly too

I'll drop you if you buy a ring.

For changing word,
Will only speak the changing truth.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Maxboy gold member
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write El

    "My heart so slow
    Blood is stuck
    Just won't flow
    Past fields of buttercuts"

    Best the blood is thick and doesn't flow from past wounds.

    I Love This
    Don

  • Cinnarry gold member
    September 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it. Love the sharp inhales and exhales.

    • My Milieu
      September 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Cinnarry, I got a bit fewer of them towards the end, I may change that, I just got tired of writing it halfway through. My roomie brought me back Chunky Money so poetry became a lesser priority.