The universe be damned
I'm talking to you now.
My Love has allowed me to
view your science as art.
For I can recall the instant that
I fell so easy,
Its precisely the moment that
You, you broke my heart.
They say that we're dying
From birth,
Which is true
But not always;
Some
Live so fiercely
They blind any heart
Passing by.
The instant the earth
Came to be,
So was I and so you were;
Reality just works that way,
Always has.
I could cry to the stars
In self pity
But they will not hear me,
They are watching two other hearts
Who knows when,
Reliving this scene.
We are just star dust and tissue
And love turned to liquid,
As it scorches these cheeks
And these eyes,
That search for yours still.
Big Bang, my heart broke in your
Fireworks,
As you knew it would.
A contest entry
- A Celebration- 100 Word/Title Prompts! by Metaphorist.
600 points, ended September 28, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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For I can recall the instant that
I fell so easy,
Its precisely the moment that
You, you broke my heart.
I really saw ur vision and the emotion u were creating with it. i saw it all. i have always wanted to write a poem such as this, something that stands out and shines. if u never ever write again, u can always feel proud of this piece write here. OMG, u have no idea what ur doing to me.
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This, this is one of the best poems I've read recently. I honestly can say this. The title is what caught my eye first. I also agree with previous commenter's. A great way to blend science with love.
In fact, I love you piece so much, I was hoping maybe, if you're interested, if you would enter my contest.
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2423719
Very good writing. -
Good
It was a little Cryptic, but a Wonderful poem
Poetically powerful piece very well done There were no errors. Or No typos. Nothing I Would change. I look forward to your next poem
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I'm in love. This was so beautiful, I just couldn't stop reading. I love your style.
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thank you so much for such a wonderful comment! x peace
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Wow, I'm realy glad my style intreuges you because this is captivating(ha ha i can't spell well). this is the first title that caught my eye but i can't wait to read the rest.
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I could cry to the stars
In self pity
But they will not hear me,
They are watching two other hearts
beautiful.
I don't like the double spacing though. -
"Some
Live so fiercely
They blind any heart
Passing by."
I love these lines and I marvel at how you kept me reading and wanting more! Truly wonderful write and brilliant flow!
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thanks so much for reading, I am glad you enjoyed this piece.peacex
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very deep, and meaningful. i liked it very much, and excelent write!!
Have a great day!
Emma
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thanks so much for reading! peace
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I like that lots.
The big bang in relation to love and existance, just kinda...
Meaningful. -
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thanks for reading! peace
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Ooo. I love this particular prompt. I was hoping to get entries that used it metaphorically more than literally. Well done! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Powerful write. Seemed metaphorical and made me think of how precious love can be in life. Something that shouldn't be taken for granted, you know and I like how you related a broken heart to the big bang, like the way all the matter gets spread apart like a heart breaks. Thanks for sharing and keep that pen flowing.
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They blind any heart
Passing by.
The instant the earth
Came to be,
So was I and so you were;
Reality just works that way,
Always has.
I really REALLY loved this piece, again you show your heart, expose it to the world. Again, your talent tells this tale with sadnessm and quiet resolution. I'd almost bet when peopleread this, their faces dont move expressions with the lines.
I hope you do well in this challenge, my sweet English sistergirl.
Much love,
jin
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I have never read a poem like this. It was very oddly presented and you truly do have a style of your own> It makes me reach down in deep thought to truly understand the passion that was used to write it. I loved it.
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bravo
A most lovely and very unique love poem here! I absolutely loved it! bravo... bravo...
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