Have you noticed what’s going on?
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Lately, I have noticed, there has been a lot of talk on
here by two of the ladies about their damn
financial investments.
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If I wanted to hear about stocks, I would talk to
Chuck or call my stock broker, dumb fuck.
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I’m still watching those losers he sold me,
of course he got paid.
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Good thing I can still afford my cognac and cigarettes or
he would know what a real bear market feels like.
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Before you know it those gals will be putting out
an investment news letter, don’t they know this is
a God damn poetry site, give me a break.
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I won’t mention any names, they know who they are,
damn name droppers is what they are.
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Yeah, one was bragging about having shares in
Eveready, the other one bragging about her
stock in Energizer, batteries no less.
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They were talking about borrowing batteries from
each other and how long they last, I knew what
the hell they were talking about, it was enough
to make me puke.
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I would have to, if it wasn’t for losing some
of this fine brandy I’m having.
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Do you think Energizer had a sex toy in mind
when they made their mascot a fucking rabbit?
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What do you think, bet your ass they did, they know
where the fucking money is.
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With all that vibrating going on, I bet when Energizer
built their corporate headquarters building,
they had to put it on those huge spring supports.
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The ones the Japanese have to use on their buildings
because of all the fucking earthquakes they have.
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All I know is, before they came out with all those
sex toys, that do things a human can’t,
I got a hell of a lot more tail than I get now.
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Try to get that damn rabbit to take out the
garbage or eat your dried up leftovers for dinner
three fucking nights in a row, get it.
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Where’s my drink, spoiled ungrateful bitches.
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Adding your comment:
Love this, had me laughing so hard! But wait...? No mention of your roaring fire! 
Don't say its burned out? Hehe wicked piece, good luck 
Maybe that will be the next one.
