minds blocked
vision goes blurry
can't seem to consentrate
I need to get high
I need to relax
I need a cure
the anxiety taking over
killing me
drowning me
so soffocating
I need to end this now
end what?
I dont know for sure
I need it
I need to die
I need to live
I need the heroine
to end all this
to start more shit
to take me in
to drown myself
to die
to live
to get high
I know nothing anymore
only the fact
that I need it
need it now
I need to live
I need to die
I need the monster
to take me over
I need it
to kill me
I need it
to heal me
to thrive in me
I need it
need it now
I need God
to save my worthless life
to end my worthless life
I need it to drown
I need to get high
I need to quit going on
for I dont know what I need
or want
besides
who cares about me
I need to die
I need to be high
I need to end this
I need it now
I need the taste of death
I need to kill
I need to write
I need to cut
I need to bleed
I need to die
I need it
I need it now
to cure me
to heal me
to kill me
to save me
and my worthless life
to end it now
I need it
my soul is thirsty
for the taste of death
my minds spinning
images are racing
I need the drugs
I need them now
to consume me
to kill me
I hate them
I love them
can't make up my mind
picking at my skin
through my own muscles
digging through
I need to bleed
I need to get high
whats going on
I need to die
God save me
end my worthless life
I will die
I need to get high
I need the blood
I need it to consume
to get high
I need to end it
end my worthless life
I need to
die
Author notes
this poem is not about drugs, its about coffee...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This write needs to be tightened up. It looks a little bit like a diary entry and not a poem. Very general phrases, makes it difficult to relate to. Descriptive and specific imagery would help make this poem seem more personal. For example, these lines here "my minds spinning
images are racing" have potential it's hard to focus on the poem because the imagery lacks depth...what kind of images are racing? To me, this poem does not penetrate the core of addictive behaiviour patterns and it's really hard to tell that it is about coffee. Perhaps, that could be incorporated into the imagery. -
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well i kinda wanted it to seem like its about drugs although since ive never been on drugs i dont know how that feels, and i meant to write it like a diary entry
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Couple of miss-spells..
3rd line, "concentrate*"
10th line, "suffocating*"
Very deeeep poem ive gone right down to the essence of your problem. You just need to stop needing!! And think about loving, loving life and all it brings.
So deep..you took me to your mind...x -
Oh this is so deep and I know where you are coming from
My nephew has spoken those exact words himself many times and knowing the drug is what puts the thoughts there yet not being able to stop on his on for he has tried so many times before and returned . Honey the thoughts within your mind when you are under the influence of the drugs are not thoughts for your life its thoughts of command of the drugs to feed it more to bring yourself back to the high one more time just one more time is the same words repeated again and again . Do you truly waqnt to live do you want to stop the pain and find you are still very much alive within and its waiting for you to let go of the drugs and bring the real life back the one where you can relax the one where you arent afraid anymore the one where you stop cutting yourself by listening to the drug induced voices that are there only to destroy .Do you want to live again abd be free then listen to me closely. Get your mom or dad aunt or uncle to get you into a rehab one where you cannot check yourself back out on your own and the first three weeks you wont remember for the drug will screw with your mind for it takes a few weeks to get over the voices you will hear . Then you need to talk to someone there and you tell them everything that comes to your mind everything leave nothing out . Whe you reach the fifth week you will begin to relax and actually hear others talking and begin to see once again their is a lot of love you are missing and have missed while you were drugeed up for when you are drugged up you only have a one track mind and thats where am I going to get my next fix for a high. Talk to me anytime for we qwent through this with my nephew and his last bout was when others took a led pipe to his face in an alley and crushed every bone in it we thought he was going to die but he lived by the grace of God and today he is staying in a center now and will stay full term .Please do this and live for you have so much ahead of you thatr could be a good life with friends and love.
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Heavy
I could not read this fully, the repetitive nature of this poem disturbed me. I know what it's about but I never support the need that this portrays. I am pro life(meaning I value myself and others completely), I see this and I weep for those who are trapped. I understand the need to close off, and to punish ones self. I could not follow this piece, because of my own belief's and I don't think it flowed well. It was full of Passion and Pain, and the need to let go of all near and dear.
You write what is from the heart, so you are a great writer, keep writing and growing as a person. -
well sweet heart,
you are haveing a full tank of emotion's that is fo'sur!
There is nothing wrong with that. all i have to say is IT WILL BE OK and I LOVE YOU!
It's crazy how such things can take over such as drugs, cutting or anything really you feel like you NEED it or WANT it sometimes you wish you could just never have started up on it.
but the facts are you did. and your going to have all these thoughts, of getting high, next time you'll score, to wanting to die, to out of no where turning to god.
but i just want you to know you are a STRONG person! this poem was very strong as well, a little intense to read.
but i only wish the best to you and i'm always here
love much and always,
vanna -
You need to heal
Although as a poem this has a very strong message and the repitition makes it very powerful, even writing something of this nature is bad for your mind and soul. The reason a say this is because when you concentrate on something like a poem. Something you write then read, you are focussing energy on it. That energy makes it real and that's not a good thing for you. You need to place as much positive stuff in your life as you can.
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Sad
Man, I bet alot of people out there could identify with this...reminds me of my sister. Check your spelling and punctuation and give it a bit of polish. I like it alot, think you show talent here.
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A few mis-spelled words, but a very interesting and realistic interpretation of addiction.
Concentrate
suffocating
and you need some apostrophes... but otherwise fabulous!
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