Oh pay me to sing as a blackbird sings,
with the rising sun on a garden wall,
or give me some silver, I’ll spade the soil
while a robin blusters his way to worms,
or sign me a cheque and I’ll dance for hours,
trip barefoot in meadows through dew drenched flowers,
but work requires contracts and times and terms
for jobs to get done - fair wage for fair toil;
all that’s most precious earns nothing at all,
love’s labour is worth more than diamond rings.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dream Job by Judith Chandler.
500 points, ended October 6, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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nicely penned . . good conclusion . . liked "while a robin blusters his way to worms" and "all that's most previous earns nothing at all" . . good luck in the contest !!
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TOPS!
Cleverly written love poem with a scattered rhyme scheme. I like it and maybe I'll send mine on the same line.
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This was a good poem- I feel like it has a lot potential, but it didn't really pull me or end up changing my state of mind though.
The beginning is good- I like it but the lines "but work requires contracts and times and terms for jobs to get done- fair wage for fair toil;". I feel it didn't exhibit the same kind of language as the parts above it, and didn't give a good enough transition to the last two lines, which I did like.
Perhaps you should lengthen this poem- The first part elaborating upon the spirit of the first bit, and lengthening the transition to make a smoother ending in a second stanza.
But at least in my taste, I feel like the language could overall be a bit more vivid. I feel like the the first part is reaching that, until the transition and lines I mentioned earlier, which seem to lose that style and making the reading a bit awkward until the beautiful lines at the end.
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Very Profound
I really enjoyed your poem. Like the song Can't buy me love..*S*
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Lovely write. I very much enjoyed reading your piece =] Great work.
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Superb plus
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed, with which I can relate.
You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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"Love's Labour is a labor of love"
You have eloquent speech that is quite evident in this piece you have written. All things worthwhile take effort usually... even love. Even poetry takes time to allow inspiration to flow where it will while taking notes of its "sentimental journey."
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Very Nice!
I like this a lot. It was a real joy to read and it made me smile.
Thanks,
M.Antoinette
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or sign me a cheque and I’ll dance for hours,
I love dancers, i don't sign them checques, but they do get cash, he he, he he
This is beautiful. I don't know what form you used but i can see there is a pattern of sort. I love it
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Interesting the mention of money, love's labour as opposed to contracts and terms. I like doing things out of love but money is a very nice commodity!
Thank you for entering my contest. Are you a singer or a gardener? In any case, an enjoyable write in response to this prompt. -
all that’s most precious earns nothing at all,
love’s labour is worth more than diamond rings.
I love those lines. This piece is made of a wonderful concept - very creative. Words flow beautifully! Enjoyed it immensely! Great job!
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