Will any historian
ever write my love story?
Will it have any place
in the world history?
I think my story
is unique and historical.
I found my love
not as a high school
or a university student.
I found my love when
I became a university lecturer
and she was a student in my class.
Will the historians
and archaeologists find
those instant messages
we exchanged for months?
Or will they find clues of our
first French kiss
in my office room.
Will the archaeologist find
the smell of our mingled perfume
we had in our dresses
by hugging each other?
Will the historians read those
hundred poems I wrote for my love?
Will they find those shops, where we
went for our wedding shopping?
Anyway the historians will not bother
because they only write about
Emperor Shah Jahan and
Empress Mumtaz Mahal,
King Hussain and
Queen Noor of Jordan,
And John Kennedy
and Jacqueline Kennedy.
The historians have no time
to think about the love of the
common couples which are sometimes
more romantic than those famous couples.
Author notes
Sabir Abdus Samee
I am dedicating this poem to my darling wife Hafsa Bintey Faruq.
A contest entry
- History Books Forgot about Us (And the Bible Didn't Mention Us.) by They Say Shannon.
600 points, ended November 27, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This was beautiful in the aspect that you show your true love and pasion for your wife.
It is really evident and it makes me smile.
I love the history you included and how used it to compare yourself.
I do feel that the repetition of a few words disrupts the flow, but that is just a personal pet peeve of mine.
Great job on this and thanks for entering!
Sorry it's taken so long to get around to commenting it. >.>
Haha. I've been busy lately, but good luck! <3 -
-
Thank you for the honourable mention and the comment.
-
-
The content to this poem is excellent, I was really enticed by the thought that went into it. Shows some real creative flare.
I feel that you repeat words too shortly after using them, which tends to throw the reader away from the poem. It really breaks the flow. For example - lines 4 & 6 with the repeated use of the word 'History' and then with the repeted use of words such as 'Historian' throughout the poem.
But I love your idea!
Well done.
Trent



