the seasons have turned 4 times since
that moment in which we turned two into one
even though we have since been split
our hearts still remain fused
forever will you be loved by me
even if your mind suddenly moves on with life
you can find me standing in the same spot
wishing to be by your very side
the seasons can change 40 more times
but my waiting will never stop
even if that means death might come first
you mean too much to me to even stop for a moment
and that moment is what fills my dreams
where your mind and heart are on the same page
and those pages can turn without ripping
showering you with the very sweetest kisses
my eyes shy away from all other beauties
remain focused on your beautiful body
memories flood my mind even if it hurts
because you are worth any pain of enduring
my blood flows with your name incased in each cell
you are my lifeline and the one to be lived for
a true queen and goddess to my soul
on my knees worshipping you every day
promises to cherish you and give you the world
all of my power dedicated to your happiness
hoping your mind can love me like your heart does
even if that is a timeless impossibility
until then your heart will get whatever it wants...
Author notes
Username: hardeepb
To the love of my life Lisa...more emotion the a structured poem...a couple lines I loved how they came out...I love her so much...and I don't even know what else to say...hope you enjoy it...good luck to the others...
A contest entry
- History Books Forgot about Us (And the Bible Didn't Mention Us.) by They Say Shannon.
600 points, ended November 27, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this is amazing...so heartfelt, so emotional..and yet so poetic...the seasons, the pages...amazing metaphors. it's just...the love is so evident...i dont even know what to say. it's beautiful...and im sure she'll love every word of it
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"the seasons can change 40 more times
but my waiting will never stop"
I like the repetitious use of seasons to show that the love is continuous.
"and that moment is what fills my dreams
where your mind and heart are on the same page
and those pages can turn without ripping
showering you with the very sweetest kisses"
I like that stanza.
I think it's really cute.
Awe.
I liked it.
I got through it the emotion of how much you love her.
I'd love to receive a poem like this from my boyfriend.
Maybe you should show her?
Now, for Constructive Criticism.
I think that certain parts of this seem a little forced and don't necessarily flow perfectly.
I think a few more metaphors in here would be nice too.
But these are just suggestions.
Nice job, and thanks for entering!
Good luck. <
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