Angel on Sunday,
Fallen on Monday
Secretly plotting
Silently rotting
I clung to every word they told me
Let the arms of God enfold me
But should I meekly turn my cheek?
My baby was too young to speak
Forgive us sinners now, I say
But do I mean it anyway ?
I long to bask in heavens Grace
But will God recognise my face
Angel on Sunday
Fallen on Monday
Secretly plotting
Silently rotting
An eye for an eye I heard them say
But should I listen anyway?
What price to pay for killing him?
Is sweet revenge a mortal sin?
Angel on Sunday
Fallen on Monday
Silently plotting
Quietly rotting
Author notes
This poem is a personal write, however it is looking at a period in my life before I found peace, and does not reflect my faith, or my opinions on revenge now, in any way.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt. by Angelflower.
600 points, ended October 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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i like the quality you create here - a sort of restrained searching feel.
well done
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thanks rick...I was in such a dark place when I wrote this....glad u liked it
T
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I like the poem, thought at first it was going to be like Solomon Grundy. Anyway I love the flow of the piece, and also the feeling I got reading it too. You do have a talent, nurture it. Keep writing.
Be Seeing you
Wayne Leon
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ace poem.
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I love this one. I am not a very religious being but I understand and agree with what you are portraying here. I love the repetition of:
Angel on Sunday
Fallen on Monday
Secretly plotting
Silently rotting
and then changing it on the last stanza... Bravo!
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you r a talent i really felt in this one .
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such a quick and pacy one...its got deep meaning inside those small words and dats great about it!!!
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ooh thanks, lol I was in a dark dark place when I wrote this, too much red wine and bitterness, twas a fun write though
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Flawless, I like the repeated verse that you often do in your writings.. Your talant outshines the sun and I can feel the warmth from here,,,thanks
Michael -
Oh my !
This had alot of heartfelt emotions to it.
And to me it seemed like you were venting out. more than just trying to preach. Like you had some things on your mind and you needed to release 'em.
Great job!
-Mandi
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This write has that special feel to it, almost like a song. In fact it could be a song with some clever restructuring. As a poem it's awesome, and flows , rhymes well. Raw emotions felt for sure.
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This was a very emotional write. I love the way it sounds when read out loud.. You did a wonderful job, thank you very much for sharing.. best of luck in the contest..
Angel
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There is a seductive quality in the unamity found in a Sunday service that can often make the rest of the week feel like a lie. How can we be so magnificent and so petty at the same time. I hear all these questions raining in this poem. You catch the period when we desire but can't quite relate it to a spiritual need in our lives. Every moment feeling like a contradiction or an emptying of the glass not quite half full. I enjoyed this piece. It doesn't preach or over dramatize and makes nice use of the repetative phrase.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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hi tom thanks for your comment,you really picked up on what I was trying to say, you will be happy to know though that this reflects a very dark period in my life, and God is now a very good friend of mine godbless theresa ( littlefishone)
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H i thanks for your comment, i really value your opinion, I guess we all just keep moving foreward, I'm lucky cos THERE ARE LOTS OF REALLY POSITIVE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT OVER SHADOW BAD STUFF, HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY LITTLEFISHONE
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Gosh, I hate to admit it, but I feel this poem mirrors my life. How do you ever end up being what you really want to be. A constant war within I know and this poem hits it on the head. Very nicely written.
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I can relate to some of what you have here, as a former sunday school teacher who fell away from it all.
Sometimes the why of it all can just be too much.
Very strong, very good
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thanks for commenting sOMETIMES THE QUESTIONS ARE TOO HUGE AND i GUESS WE DONT ALWAYS GET THE ANSWERS WE WANT HOPE YOU FOUND SOME KIND OF PEACE WITHIN YOUSSELF TAKE CARE LITTLEFISHONE
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FIERCE, TOUCHING,
such pain and near helpless rage, the struggle to live by your moral code and still the lust to even the score, very very powerful!
i really loved these two lines
What price to pay for killing him?
Is sweet revenge a mortal sin?
thanks, this was one mighty read
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This is definately a power filled write, you captured periods of everyone's life in this to a degree. Well done, best to you in the contest
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This is really powerful. I can relate to this write so much, you have no idea. I think it captures the rage and bitterness of wanting revenge so well. A rage that is great enough even to overwhelm one's religious faith. Having gone through my own religoius 'dark night of the soul' myself when I left Christianity, I can really relate. Quite a powerful write, and I really loved the repetition of:
Angel on Sunday,
Fallen on Monday
Secretly plotting
Silently rotting
It just captures it so well.
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