If
you choose
to look at
this lonely soul
with wide open eyes,
will you see all the tears
that she bottles up inside
too afraid to let it all out,
instead she will curl up small and hide
incase you see a secret none can know.
Wretched sobs tear at her pitiful heart,
Each visit from him tears her apart
But she knows better than to fight
For it would make her plight worse
In the depth of the night
He feels no remorse
As he takes her
Then and there
Without
Choice
Author notes
About a child who is abused at night. First stanza still needs work, perhaps the second also. A double etherees; my first attempt =) Thanks to Palazoo for running the contest 
(c) Moya Muldowney 2008
In a list
A contest entry
- Etheree Me Please (Contest) by Paloszoo.
625 points, ended October 6, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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oh this is dark and sad... thank you for entering!
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A sad write, but nicely penned. I'd say more, but I'm starting to get a headache.
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Oh god, this gave me chills. What an amazing piece; I am very impressed. Well done and thankyou so much for entering!
~*~DramaQueen469~*~ -
This is a beautifully executed piece of work, and very poweful especially to those of us who know what its like to befriend a beast, your imagry was very powerful i wanted to rescue the child in your poem thanks for letting us share this littlefishone
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Oh its so sad
I cant imagine an adult being treated this way but if I ever caught an adult doing something like this he just wouldnt have certain parts to work with ever again and I wouldnt think twice about it as he is taken to prison there they will indtroduce to him what its like to be treated that way for in prison a child abuser is lucky to get out alive
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Powerful double Etheree. I notice the first half begins with all lower case, while the second half each line begins with caps. Was this a purposeful decision?
Congrats on the Bronze!
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Excellent for a first etheree. No need for a space between the two halves. This is a sad write full of angst. Very touching in a personal way. Thanks for entering my contest. I’m honored that you would show your work here. Keep up the great work!
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Painful
This poem as it stands is quite a compelling read, full of painful emotions from a young girl crying to be free of her torment. If and when you revise, make it darker and go deeper into the girls mind, only a suggestion but. As it is, a good emotional read. -
A truley complelling and heartfelt piece. It was a real pleasure to read the emotions in your fine words as well. Excellent job my friend.
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