it's just that i'm sick of it when people think they know where love comes from,
contracting in the fibers of a heart or potentially resting, yawning up a gaping mind or wet and sticky sweet between the lips and legs of the pretty-skinned
you see, it's really a microscopic squirming ulcer in the walls of your stomach, right above the burial of your gut -- a squealing, bloodthirsty little fucker fixated on the colors your digestive tract turns when it sucks out another half pint of blood, sends impulses at 9 meters squared per second to the tip of your fingers and clenches every hair on your skin with the kind of brutality you can only find in a father.
it is the kind of hiding away you can only find in that bastard-at-large who thought he'd dig his body language into your eyes until he was knuckle deep, pull out too early and escape to sea; for once, he says, he'd rather barf up than shoot up.
yeah, and you don't even realize you've got a flipping striated leech right there, right where breastbone meets a galaxy, chewing at and acidifying every last star in every last strangled blood vessel.
no, you never knew you had a hell-in-a-boy sucking away everything, all the way to your esophagus, the coiling of your tongue that just suddenly stops, turns its back before you are even conscious enough to run.
Author notes
my pathetic love life
[experimenting with different poetry styles]
A contest entry
- .slave to detail. by girl shaman.
500 points, ended September 27, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
rip it. no, really:
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this is really raw, and i really liked the quite gruesome imagery you pull out especially in the first part
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goddamnit you're good
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gah! this is hard..
i had someone in mind for gold already but after reading this.. its going to be more difficult than i thought. i had a good feeling about this after i saw the title and i was certainly right about it.
there was beautiful transitions in every word
thank you soooo much!
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This is the first poem in a long time
that i have been compelled to read out loud...
Damn that is fine word.
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dont rip it, i love it.
i kindof feel like that all the time. and it's painful, and i love love love it. of course, being the masochist i am, i can't help reading it four or five times over.
hope you feel better sooner.
good to see you today, AHHH!
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love the blue hair, kid, and the glomp. and i even liked my replacement (matt). even though he looks like a 10-year-old.
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Wow im slightly jealous of you hehe...
This is awesome.
You describe this disturbing but beautiful account of love in really BIG way.
Nice usage of imagery here.
I hope you win this contest.
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Wow. It's really graphic and hateful and raw, but it's beautiful. You do write well. Fabulous job on the imagery and technical language here.
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I love the beginning, the first sentence. It makes you keep reading... as for criticism... hmm... I love the whole thing, really. If I would say anything at all, I might say that it seemed like the end came a bit suddenly. but please, don't revise on my account. You know better than I do.
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your account is a perfectly fine and wonderful and sexy account,
and usually, a right account.
so yeah, if i figure out a better ending, i'll fix this, and it'll be entirely your fault.
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Wow, you really describe love very well and originally. This is intense. The title caught my attention and made me read and comment when I felt I could not read or comment anything at all. I really like it.
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