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I'm Not A Girl

Im Not A Girl
You don't need to protect me
I dont need your rules so just
let me open my eyes to see
The world at its hypnotic level
The people at different stages
I can do it on my own
I can turn my own pages
Let me live my life
It ain't yours
So I Depend on me
rest is assured


Let me figure out
what's right and wrong
Dont Judge me indiscretly
I know where I belong
Because when the time comes
and i'm on my own
I dont want to depend on you
So now..LEAVE ME ALONE !
Please try to understand
Im looking out for me
So let me make mistakes
in the end,you shall soon agree.


I plan on living life
without a single despair
Coz nowhere on my birth certificate
did it say life would be fair !

A contest entry

A contest entry

what do u think of my poem ?

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Gay-Militant
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this but have to remove it becuase i don't have enough entries...sorry.

  • Writing0Freedom
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the strength of feeling in this. I would suggest using more literary devices- figurative language such as metaphor and simile and description but I still think its good. It does fit with my contest and has the similar strength of feeling as in 'Good girl gone bad' so I give you kudos for that. NIce!
    Thanks for entering!
    WritingFree

  • Vera Rich
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry - you seem to have misunderstood the requirements of my competition - it was for poems about Poetry and/or poets. I wish you luck with this poem, elsewhere - but as far as the "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition is concerned, I do have to say "No".


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Other than end-line-rhyme, I don't see a lot of poetic devices here and there is an overabundance of the pronouns "I", "me", etc. This comes across as more of a self-centered rant than productive poetry. Also, someone didn't indiscretly use spellcheck

    • Anu-Nataraj
      November 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      its supposed to be only about me dear friend....lol.....its about how i know what im sppsed to do..but ppl go tattering on all the time about what they think im sppsed to do...u get moi now ???


  • retribusive
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty good, although I would have liked to see some stronger use of the language. Nice entry.


  • leander Moderators member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is a remarkable strength captured within these lines, something that a lot of us probably feel at some point in life - girl or boy - but not really know how to put it in words...

    Very well done!
    Thank you for this entry!
    Leander

1 - 8 of 8