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Hot Pink Desire

His words were rushing at me,
a swift under-current tugging
at my composure , trying to

scramble eggs with my thoughts.

His unreadable dark liquid eyes
shot darts into me.

Hitting a bulls-eye with each glance.

Jewels fell from his mouth as he spoke,

my heart opening its petals to him.

He was a shimmering mountain
of muscle and flesh.
Walking toward me with the fluidity
of unfurling silk.

He stopped within a breath of me,
so I could breath him in deeply.   
His scent twisting my senses into knots.

I was in awe behind his smile
shining beams of radiance onto me,
warming me with his tender softness.

His words were sparks to his body language,

igniting the flame that caught fire within me,
burning me hot pink with desire.

 

 

 

 

(c)Nevadapoet

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • B Chandler
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The only major issue I'm having with this is that background. Even though I've made it blank, the white font disappears.


    Semi-cricket


    • nevadapoet
      October 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am so sorry...I totally forgot about the background that I used for this write when originally posted. Please forgive me and try again...if you will, I have made appropriate changes. Again I apologize!!!

      • B Chandler
        October 27, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        Commentary Update

        Now that I'm able to read it, the metaphor usage was subtle but managable nonetheless. In this line:

        to my heart opening it's petals to him


        ...I think you meant to use ITS and not the contraction version. Nice work

        • nevadapoet
          October 31, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Thank you so much for the HM from your contest. I appreciate the read and your coments. You were correct on the puncuation for the word its...I corrected it.
          Again I than you.
          Shelly

          P.S. My nickname has been cricket for years.


  • thejollytinker
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You made me go fire up Aerosmith. "Pink, it was love at first sight...Pink, when I turn off the light...Pink, it's like red, but not quite..." Depending upon your age, you may or may not get this! Point is, good stuff!! Can I get someone to feel that way 'bout me?


  • Riamh
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful, sensuous read, Shelly. Beautifully expressed. I like pink!


    Slayer


  • thepoetssoul
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great piece of poetry I love the soft seductive words you useVery sensual, and the visions you paint are so vividly strong.Splendidly done indeed.

    Tony


    • nevadapoet
      October 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Tony...I appreciate the read and the welcome comments.
      Shelly


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    At first i thought this was an entry to my 'desire' contest! My loss However, that aside, you have a
    very personal and romantic piece here - lots of imagery,
    which is a plus, and a great ending. Very well done, Shell Love, Lane

    • nevadapoet
      September 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you lady...I appreciate your time, really. This originally was entered into your "Pink" contest and then I wanted to write another and when I entered the second one, it knocked this one out. I wasn't aware that you could enter a contest only once. In any event...thank you for your comments. I have been focusing on imagery and metaphors lately (since I started reading your work), so I appreciate you commenting on them here. They don't come easily for me, but they say...practice makes perfect. So practice I shall. Thanks for the inspiration.
      Be Well,
      Shelly


  • Emerald Dog
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was hot, pink and delicious! Good luck in the contest. L&P, Kx


    • nevadapoet
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      So glad you approve...love tickling your senses!!!!
      Shelly

1 - 12 of 12