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the effect of shimmer

 

 


spring morning:  a gull lifts from dawn
and warmth settles in the bay.

slowly,
the sun dips a hand
into the small of a wave’s back.

i remember last night,
the silk-songs.
shimmers on the sea affect me.

from far off I watch the wave
as it rips and roars
in the incomprehensible syllable
of water flaming forward,
the hairs at the nape of its neck
white in the wind.

i remember tomorrow and my blood
is young again.

i think i’m trying to say
i ask for nothing:

only


the shimmer of your body
on mine –

rip-roaringly so

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 








 

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • white stone
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    I grew up on the gulf coast of Texas, so I really apprecite all your imagery in these. Some people say the Gulf doesn't count, but I loved it. And yes, a good lover will shimmer and envelope us like water.


  • John Doe
    May 1
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    Beautiful poem.


  • LadyElbereth
    April 25
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    Loved this One

    This is such a tender romantic piece I simple love it just lovely.

    Lady E


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 25
      Edit | Reply
      thank you... i so appreciated your comments on my poems, Catherine


  • Peripatetic gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    These are wonderful images and figures of speech:
    "the sun dips a hand
    into the small of a wave’s back;"
    "the wave... the hairs at the nape of its neck
    white in the wind."
    This is a poem of graceful sensuality with its descriptions of the seascape as metaphors of the sensations of love-making.


  • thepoetssoul
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Put me on the ocean and drown me in these words.
    The hairs on the nape of its neck white in the wind
    What beautiful imagery and metaphor.Beautifully poetic, love this one.Be blessed in all you ever do.

    Tony


  • nancy drew
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    such an airy sensuality to this... loved it.

    helen~


  • CaliOkie silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on silver. Reading it again, it remains excellent. Your work has "lasting power," I can read your poems over and over and never tire of them.

    Garrison

  • Topnotchsy
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. Love the simple idea of this line. Often people think of the past and remember being young, but it was the dreaming of the future that made them young originally, and to reclaim it one must "remember tomorrow"

    i remember tomorrow and my blood
    is young again.

    Really beautiful piece.


  • bird at rose
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I'm so glad you're in the contest I'm in!

    Your rhetoric possesses the bloom of this bird as flattering for sunrise to you, a gripping introduction.  Sea gulls always purport tranquility, and when you see them you know which season is fresh in the air like the aurora of love. "the sun dips a hand" is such a refreshing line, stretching out a thermometer so to speak to push the tides in togetherness far. I like the parcel that this feeling in you didn't just come 'today,' but you say "last night," and "the silk-songs" show exhilarating overhang.

    Love the blast by, "of water flaming forward," showing the sequence, churning you into it while disabling concentration in a good way as fire and billows at the same time. I call you in the middle, yet neutral isn't the right word lol. "the hairs at the nape of its neck white in the wind" represent tenderness still, as this area tells life or death. "white" because it's like baby blonde compared to the rest of your pony tail hehe, in the flight over this sand.

    My eyes were opened in my favorite caption, "my blood is young again," the thought of already being in the catalyst for the next day is terrific because as your third stanza's effect... here comes hope of another refreshment in life.

    Your ending sums up the need to not doubt how you can keep your little world environmental, thank you for sharing,
    Daisy


  • poetryality silver member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I sigh at the wonder and stark beauty written here dear sister. Your muse must have needed the sleep because upon awakening it is as vibrant as ever! Loved those last three words! I smiled at the thought and feel the same way about my Ray!

    This is such a rich work of poetic thought! Lovely! Simply lovely!


    Always ♥

    Renee


  • leander Moderators member
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Last six lines came as a smack to the face... how I feel your words there, with that tiny little difference that I need to replace the 'you' with 'someone', but that's totally out of the question somehow...

    If I even make sense


  • parsa8
    September 29, 2008
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    wow

    i think only one word deserved to be used to describe ythe poen: sensation


  • marc creamore
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I remember tomorrow and my blood
    is young again . . . "

    The delicate beauty that is your mind and heart never ceases to amaze me . . . this is stunning, as usual, Nicolette.

    Marc


  • Mari Goes gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's Spring now in Brazil...even after 20 years seeing Autumn colours come in September, I still associate September with flowers.
    I know how you have been waiting for Winter be gone, I can see the joy of a new season reflected on your words


  • petalblue2
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I truly love what comes from your pen. You seem to mirror my favorite poet, Anne Sexton, in a more optimistic way. You truly have a lovely talent. I love to read your work.


  • IronIcecream
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    eyes dipped in tomorrow
    I can smile all the yesterdays


    such a cruel yoke
    upon your muse
    rip-roaring her inspiring... belt


  • Namita
    September 26, 2008

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    "the shimmer of your body
    on mine"

    What a wonderful write, Nic! "I remember tomorrow and my blood is young again" - such a beautiful line... so deep and lovely. Divine writing, m'friend.

    - Namita


  • Peteskid gold member
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful rich verses here so full and alive, full of energy and joy...and a most delightful sense of anticipation...enjoyed this a lot...PK

  • CaliOkie silver member
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your muse is intact. This is beautiful and is gently nuanced -- and what a perfect metaphor. Excellent.
    Good luck in the contest.

    Garrison


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Ohhh. "The (Major) Effect(s) of Shimmer", indeed!!! I suddenly "stumbled" whilst reading all of these lovely, profound, overflowing~with~nuance words. What a beauty. The poem is beautiful, too. Good luck in Allyce's contest, Sweetie. As if. Vlindertjie


  • klassy lassy
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Loved this!!!

    Well, you threw her (your muse) right out of that lullabye. Beautiful, my friend. There are pearls in the deep of your thought, shimmering. How mesmerizing!


  • Grunts Girl gold member
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well shit girl...
    that woke my muse
    it better have woken yours
    i loved this controlled sex of the second stanza


  • Jersene gold member
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think your sleeping muse is awake

    I love the consistency of the ocean through out this poem. From its gentleness and onward to the ending where it's 'rip roaring'. The metaphors just work perfectly. Stunning, really


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well I think it very waking
    and all I can add is...

    Yes please... Give us all more of the particular 'shimmer' we need!!!

    ... and also I miss the sea, the sun and everything you have reminded me of in a worldly tangible way. I've been in my 'cave' for far too long.

    I'm soon heading for the 'sunshine'!

    Sol

  • grm
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    reading your poetry is like slowly swinging in a net hammock slung between palms on a sandy atoll...
    me, and thee, and the sea, liefie

    and the shimmer is not one of mirage, but of two bodies in motion---the corona-effect of gravity meets time and distance.

    here, my voice stumbles...not by lack of expression, but by the fullness of your heart and its tidal direction.

    lovely, lovely. as you, as this, as always

    lief vir jou, my soet vrou

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 25, 2008

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    I like the passion of that last line, which transforms what might have been a sweet love song into something much hotter. Beautiful, Nic.

  • tara wilson gold member
    September 25, 2008

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    "i remember tomorrow and my blood
    is young again."

    I love that, we should all feel this way about the tomorrows we have left - excellent poem, beautiful visuals, a wonderful mood you have created here with the shimmer, Nic, I also like the sensual part you've brought in at the end... it's nice to read a new poem by you, I always get excited when you post a new one...lol

  • dx d by me
    September 25, 2008

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    After reading your poetry, I am always encouraged to pay more attention to the influences around me, and notice my intimate response to what I am experiencing. This piece is luxuriously warm and inviting. At your invitation... I would not have the last line, it seems to me, a bit whimsical for the gravity of the rest of this amazing piece. Geo

  • Rowan gold member
    September 25, 2008
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    Gorgeous hon.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 25, 2008

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    Beautifully worded, I do not know how you manage to paint depth with such tenderness, to make a firm foundation with a soft sigh or where you weave your metaphor into personification and simply sew everything into the fabric of time.

    Golden purity within your pure poetry and if anyone could bottle this effect of shimmer then we would all be queueing to imbibe the tonic.

    Outstanding.


  • Cannonsfire
    September 25, 2008
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    Sounds like the poetess that may have been missing for awhile


  • arafura gold member
    September 25, 2008
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    "the shimmer of your body
    on mine..."

    Beautiful. Wonderful imagery!


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    September 25, 2008

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    Is dit wat jy gister gedoen het?

    I love this piece! So romantic and such a rich picture it leaves in my mind! Life is so much than just life, the sunshine you caught in this poem was done with so much magic! I LOVED IT!

    Keep well!
    Becks


    • Nicolette gold member
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lolol...dis wat ek binnekort gaan doen Thanks, Becks - you're a dear


  • NurseChilly gold member
    September 25, 2008

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    life is about how we are affected by things, those moments that catch us and take us on a journey.... i hope your journey is for the rest of your days and the shimmer keeps moving like the oceans and the skies...


    beautimous
    Gilly.xx


    • Nicolette gold member
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i hope so too, Gilly; i have every intention.. thank you, my friend

1 - 39 of 39