Convoys and caravans,
Grey skys and desert sands.
Scorching days and humid nights,
UXO's and fire fights.
Running scared from dawn to dusk.
Living in a frenzied rush.
Mornings pass, and soldiers yearn,
for no more pain then razor burn.
Month late letters and black ink pens.
Discarded bullets and wounded friends.
Blood-stained boots on a soldiers feet,
sharing fatigue but not defeat.
Taking orders and scream in pain.
Wishing for an inch of rain.
Maybe one day the rest will learn,
the comfort of their razor burn
Cresent moons and mortar blasts,
peaceful thoughts are fading fast.
Blood and sweat mixed with lies,
litter soldiers tear stained eyes.
Summer days on the carolina shore,
our listless dreaming lives no more.
How I wish I could return,
to my first soldiers razor burn
Making haste and grooming quick,
It's just one little bloody knick.
I didin't know it was your last time,
is innocence such a crime?
19 years are fading fast,
as your final die was cast.
We remember how we earned,
our last fatal razor burn.
Author notes
I chose your prompt razor burn, because i saw the title, and it just struk a nerve, that is actually what inspired the whole poem how the quote "It's just a little razor burn" made it seem so trivial, even though it is so uncomfortable to have, so i took my own twist and put it into a situation where something so inconvienient might just be a little more comfortable then some of the other conditions. I love it.
A contest entry
- It's Only A Little Razor Burn.... by Jaymy.
750 points, ended October 8, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your GOLD or SILVER prewrites here!! by perfectsunset.
400 points, ended November 6, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want The Best of Pre Writes by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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very nice poem here hon you realy did a very great excellent job on this the topic the deep thoughts of the pain of seiing the untold stories of the war good luck in the contest
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A great write here that I enjoyed reading! You really penned this one. Good luck
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What a very emotionally vivid portrait thaty ou've painted here. I can definately see why you've won your silver shiney here -- this is amazing!
I'm afraid you've left me without words, dear poet!
THank you for writing, and God bless you in all of your ways.
Zach -
amazing! This a truly thoughtful write. Bravo
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well, I must say, this was well worth the wait. beautifully written! and I like the way you took the quote. it's very refreshing to not see it go emo!! bravo!! we're so lucky you shared this with us.
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Very good write, I love the metephoric tone you tookwith it. A military flavor to show that when we think something is bad for us it can be trivial compared to others. Very inspiring and really makes you reflect on your life.
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This is a fabulous, FABULOUS take on the prompt. Beautiful, descriptive, emotional... great write.
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hey this is great -- love the way u've used this prompt. i will be bck to read once its finished x
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Please let me know when it is done.
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i finished it today ^^. hope you enjoy
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haha, i'll b back great start tho
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