the Diary of a Fallen Angel

  I

THE ANGEL

Ebony streaks the scales of the magnificent wings of a wyvern

While angels fall from their posts in heaven

Where all of God’s dirty secrets are hidden

A world unlike any other emerges

One of transparent suns

-And of shallow waters

God points his fingers while smiling

As his judgment throws his angels in to ashes

And rips the holy wings of truth away

One angel remains

Shedding a solemn tear

As his heart shatters and breaks

At the sight of his faith decomposing

And all of heavens wonders being raped

And stripped away

The angel stood before the God

That he once worshiped and praised

As he realizes that when faith was reposed

God too had did the same

So the angel looked to his god

While holding his arms agape

And said unto him

“I love you this much”

As God nodded and watched

As his angel turned and walked

And entered Hell’s gates.

An Angel No More

Ruined in madness are hopes for an end

In this existence where suffering shall make amends

Cast into Hell by the one whom I adored

And on my back I carry scars

Where my wings are no more

My pain is eternal

No hopes of washing it away

Yesterday I was an angel

But no longer am I today

I awoke this morning

Filled with such rage

Confusion and hatred toward my Lord

For the way I was betrayed

On bended knees I worshiped him

With arms held agape and still

He sought out vengeance on all my kind

But ‘twas only I that he left here

Oh, how God’s dirty secrets are unfolding

And just like I have

His kingdom too is sure to fall

For all the love that he has

Yet he cast me out

And I am his true and only begotten son

Oh what my father has done unto me

Casting perils and misfortune my way

Not so long ago he loved and needed me

By his right side is where I would stay

Now I am forgotten

Like my brethren who once was

Alone in this world that has become my own

Where beasts of my blood

Out of the shallow waters

Emerge and transform



    II

THE DEMON AWAKES

My children have awakened

And have opened my eyes

No longer do I feel sorrowful

For my fathers lies

Unconditional love which he claimed to have had

Was nothing more then a fairy tale

Embedded in his deceitful web

I have become a king

Of many nations which I was betrothed

I thank my father for casting me out

For when he did

To me the truth was shown

His philosophers

Some of which are still unknown

Oh how they will write about me

And of my father

Sitting on his majestic thrown

They will write a story

Full of fables and fictitious tales

And they will write of his judgment his wrath

And of this place

My home known as Hell

So many mortals will read these

Myths; these lustrous tales

And believe me to be a beast

Responsible for all the world’s plagues

Fear me not though

For I too have suffered

Who should you trust more

A forgotten son

Or an unjust father?



      III

LETTERS FROM ABOVE

My father he writes me

Of his glorious kingdom and still

I am grateful for my own

And want to return

No more to his

I was bound to this place

By his rapture, his will

And now reside on my own thrown

With my own terms

My own reasons

He signs his letters

With closings saying that

I am his

But his I am no more

For when he cast me out of his life

I opened a new door

A new era

One where I am as equal as he

One with my own laws

Where I no longer bow down on my knees

My arms are held agape

And are extended no more

No longer do I worship

Or recite the vile words

I have not a reason

To recite Hail Mary’s

Nor spend mass quantities of time

Listening to his words or giving mortals

The meanings of life

His letters speak of peace

And of the thing I once was

But peace resides no more

For my rage has taken it’s place



    IV

FORGETFUL FATHER

He reached down and touched Mary

And Joseph as well

And bestowed upon them a son

Guarded by new angels

Their son

Whom is known by the name of Jesus

My father claims as his

A martyr in the flesh

And this I shall not forget

I was once his child

Held in utmost regards

But when I was cast down

I too was forgotten about

A replacement he created

One in an image that is only his

No more a child of his

Am I

So many times I called upon his name

But never did he hear

‘Twas as if I no longer mattered

As if he had never loved me

Obedience was said

To have never been a quality of mine

Along with authority

For which I had a blatant disregard

Out of curiosity

And questions kept in mind

My fathers hidden secrets

I have searched to find

I discovered a few

Which father didn’t like

Thus the reason he turned into

A vengeful God



      V

HELL HATH NO FURY

Of all the rage I have inside

It is my father’s vengeance

Which plagues this place

He loves his new child

His son who bears his mark

Yet oh how he allows him to suffer;

To cry

To be alone

I watched as Jesus fell upon his knees today

And prayed for father to save him

I watched as he was beaten

And his faith too

Was stripped away from him

I wanted to help

To reach out and save him

But father intervened

And continued to betray him

He is lost and I am forgotten

My brethren, my brother,

The continuation of my bloodline

Hell hath no fury

Like that of our father

So scornful so devious

So vengeful and intolerable

He crucifies his martyr

For the sins of the ones

He made in his own image

While his mortal son weeps such sorrowful tears

Asking “Father why has thou forsaken me?”



      VI

MY FIRST KNOWN NAME

Father’s mortal child

He was murdered, ‘twas slain

As were those who loved him

Those who dared to speak his name

How could he be forsaken

As I too once was

He was beaten and tortured

And I went through much the same

Now I mentioned once before

The philosophers

And what they will write

But if you pay close attention

You will learn my first Angelic name

Known to all who read this

I am the Son of the Morning Star

I am the first but not the last

Angel that will fall

It is said in the scriptures

That the prophets shall write

There will be a mortal in my image

Who will undo my father’s work

And all of his creations

Will fall apart