If I told you I would pay you for a service you can't do,
tell me who's the liar, is it me or is it you?
When once you said "Okay, I will!" and started on the job;
Did I commit the grievance, ill, or did I mean to rob?
But if I said I loved you, and I offered you my hand;
then other people shoved you far away, as they had planned;
should I be angry at the loss? Should I demand a fee?
Tell me then, from who and when? Or show me, I can see.
Ten Commandments written down, we're failures every one;
so who deserves the devils frown for things that they have done?
Author notes
Love covers a multitude of sins.
A contest entry
- "This statement is a lie." by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended September 30, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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To be honest, I never knew one of the prompts would let your muse write about love and definitely was relevant- quite what I'm asking for.
Although, love is complicated, I guess I am left wondering if it could be considered as a paradox in a way from how I see your piece
Anyway, love the first four lines: genius, you know? From the 5th to 8th line, still chewing on those but the last two lines- splendid, indeed
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WOW!!!
Awesome...thanks, good luck in the contest
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Aha, a killer ending; fantastic - reminds me of the bible story of the stoning [he who has not sinned shall cast the first stone] - and they all left without casting any stones.
You worded this very well; a couple of lines were a little off kilter in uneveness, but overall, it was woven nicely. best wishes for the contest
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