Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Imagine

Imagine
Life without you
It’s something
I can’t do

Softest
Touches from your lips
Erasing
My melancholy thoughts of you

Your
Kiss each night
Delights me
Forever I’ll need you

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • darlintlc silver member
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If only people really felt this much passion and love there would be only happiness

    The first word describes this poem totally..."Imagine"

    Nice to imagine

    Good luck in the contest
    darlintlc


    • faderman1959
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Great comment darlintic! That is now the title to the poem! So I have to give you some of the credit now. We do feel this much passion when you find the right person. The trick is to find someone who feels the same way about you.


      • darlintlc silver member
        September 25, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Such wisdom my man! Love has to be returned or it's just wasted Didn't mean for u to change the title but..."Imagine" does seem better

        darlintlc


  • Rizzie
    September 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    such a sweet poem. thanks for entering


    • faderman1959
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      My pleasure Rizzie. I wish I could have done a better job, but I had to leave just as I came across your contest. I had to write something for it.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    and what a sweet enduring kiss it must be...a quickie to be proud of... has winner wrote all over it thank you bunches for sharing it to

    • faderman1959
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks my friend. Not one of my best though. Wrote it so fast!


  • -Twilight-
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, because it is relatable... how you yearn for the one you love and couldn't imagine being without them. The only problem I have is, reading the title, and first lines of the poem I automatically knew the word blue would be in it. Also, saying "I feel blue" is really cliche. The title of the poem is "Blue" so if you took more time, if you go back and revise you could possibly change that line to something more powerful.

    Good write<3

    Steph


    • faderman1959
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Steph thank you so much for such a great critique! I really appreciate your honesty. Its a rare thing on here sometimes. This was not one of my best as I wrote it in under two minutes. I had to leave and saw the contest so wrote something real quick. I have come back and changed the title and the blue is gone.

1 - 9 of 9